When last we left our hapless…um…heroes, there was a whole lot of nothing going on – nothing that included masturbation, ants, and masturbation.  So let’s pick up where we left off.  Ready, y’all?

• Weird cupcake guy is hitting on the girl sunbathing in the woods.  Because that makes sense, sunbathing in the woods…
• “Um…I don’t exactly know my lines…so I will stammer my way through this scientific explanation of how ants are living legos…”
• Now they’re just seeing how many times they can use “ant” in a phrase in one sentence.  *sighs*
• Did I miss something?  Suddenly several people have been killed by the ants.  When did that happen?
• Yay!  A detective!  Detectives always equal good fun!
• “The word ‘dick’ was spraypainted on your car.  I suspect whoever did it knew you.”  HA!
• This guy has to be so incredibly stoned.  Only stoned people talk like this – completely circular.
• Um..fake toy ant coming out of a fake cock…I agree dude, “Why god, why??”
• “If I can’t have a girlfriend, none of you can either!”  This movie was written by stoned 12 year olds, no doubt.
• I don’t even know how to describe what’s happening now, I really don’t.  I just…what?  Sex with (WITH not IN) a car, bloody vayjayjay and apparently you can lock people into their cars these days by propping a stick up outside the door.  WHY AM I WATCHING THIS????
• Not a single woman in this movie wears clothes.  They only wear bikinis.  With sneakers.  I really really dislike this movie.
• This girl is wearing clothes!!!  Actual clothing!!!
• Brain water, y’all, brain water.
• Yeah, I always shower in my underwear too.
• I am SO going to laugh when masturbating guy falls through that glass table.  Oh wait, he’s not masturbating, he appears to actually be having sex with an open window.
• They’re ANTS people.  STEP ON THEM.

And I quit.  This movie is quite possibly the stupidest movie I have ever seen (and I don’t use the term “stupid” lightly).  Goodbye, Antfarm Dickhole, may you rot in the deepest depths of Hades.  I am SO watching a good movie next!