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The Hit Girl


Got this little gem from co-writer and director James Ward this past week and finally had the chance to sit down and give it a go.  What’s the verdict for this wacky body switch adventure?  Read on…

THE HIT GIRL tells the story of a hit man named Bill, who while on a mission encounters a magical statue that transforms him into a teenage girl. Renamed Jessica by his timid, movie quoting niece Suzy, ‘she’ must now rely on Suzy’s help in dealing with both the problems that come with being a teenage girl, and completing ‘her’ latest assignment. A job made that much more difficult now that Jessica stands at 4’11” and weighs under a hundred pounds. How will she be able survive a gang of armed gunmen, when she now finds herself being easily bullied by a group of catty teenage girls?  Will Bill ever get his life back or will ‘she’ be stuck as Jessica forever?

This dude's life is about to drastically change...

This dude’s life is about to drastically change…

So we open with a box with a pentagram carved into it and a dagger and some chanting and I get all excited going, “Dude!  There’s supernatural stuff in this??  SWEET!!!” and then we pan back to a table full of guys playing Dungeons & Dragons.  A bit of a disappointment but also hilarious.  Oh movie, you so got me!  The supernatural stuff was being done by the noob who is playing Game Master (should that be capitalized??) and really the other guys playing are kind of too cute to be sitting around playing D&D.  Then the pizza guy shows up (Pirate Pizza to be exact – ARRGHHH!!!) and all hell breaks loose.  Cause pizza guy isn’t a pizza guy at all – he’s the dude in the pic above who is really a secret operative going around capturing and killing people.  He’s also searching for the perfect catchphrase while he does so – he’s no quipper like Buffy Summers but he’s trying his best, y’all.

After his little pizza mission, he calls his sis and arranges to have dinner with her and his niece the next night.


How awesome am I?  Oh, only pretty f'ing kickawesome is all!

How awesome am I? Oh, only pretty f’ing kickawesome is all!


That’s his niece and she rocks my socks, y’all.  She is a bona fide movie quoting geek of the best kind.  She’s throwing out shiz left and right from all genres and eras.  Plus she’s the only one who knows that her uncle has turned into a chick and she handles that news pretty well.

What happens next?  Typical teenage shenanigans, a group of mean girls, a gang of men who are kidnapping girls for sex trade, the usual.  But it’s all done with just the right amount of funny and surprisingly little nudity, gratuitous violence or language.  Kind of refreshing to see.

*sighs*  School girl...

*sighs* School girl…

Not gonna lie, there are a few moments that are completely implausible and a few that are kind of ridic but it’s all good fun and it’s all well done and I kind of loved it.  And this coming from a girl who isn’t a huge fan of the body switching genre.  If you’re looking for a cute comedy done right, definitely give this one a go.  You can find it at the link at the top plus photos and more!

Lammy 2013 Nomination

1 Nomination

So, somehow, in some way, I have been nominated in the Best Horror Blog category in this year’s LAMMY’S.  I honestly have no idea how this happened but I am so honored.  I started this little site purely for fun and also because I was bored and had recently broken up with my boyfriend and was kind of lonely and was going through some pretty intensive therapy and well, life was a little messy to say the least and I needed an outlet and my first attempt at a movie blog wasn’t that great.  But I got the idea for Cinema Schminema and thought I’d invite a couple of friends to maybe check it out and figured it would go the way of The Movie Slayer (my first movie blog), which is to say I figured maybe 10 people total would ever see it.  Yet somehow here we are 345 followers later, several blogathons later, several wacky crossovers later and several friends made later.  So to everyone who helped me get here THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart – you guys are amazing.

I’ve linked the image above to the complete list of final nominees for the 2013 LAMMY’S so be sure to check them all out – there’s several you’ll know and everyone nominated is fabulous.  And if you’re a LAMB, be sure to go VOTE!!  Voting ends April 30th so don’t wait!!

Also speaking of how far Cinema Schminema has come:


I’m a few days late (yep, I missed my own site’s birthday/anniversary.  *sighs*) but my little experiment has now been around for a year.  Hard to believe because the time has FLOWN by.  So again a HUGE thank you to everybody who stops by and reads my silly little reviews about films no one wants to watch (okay, a few people want to watch ;)).  And a special thank you to my very first ever commenter, Eric.  You, sir, ROCK.  🙂

Alright, I’m catching up on interviews and movie watching this weekend – coming soon a review of “The Hit Girl” and an interview with Scream Queen Jessica Cameron so stay tuned!