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The Puppet Monster Massacre


Major props to Mike over at Badasses, Boobs and Body Counts for doing a review of this gem and turning me on to it.  (And if you click that link, it’ll take you to his review!)  I am in love.  There are a lot of things I love in this world: rainbows, kittens, blowing bubbles, unicorns, NYC, books…I love it all really.  But this movie??  This movie was obviously made with me specifically in mind because it had all my favoritest movie things in one giant spectacular extravaganza.

Puppets?  Check.

Cute little furry animals?  Check.

Mad scientist with a penguin sidekick?  Check.

Puppet sex?  Check.

Nazis?  Check.

Douchebag guy with a fake English accent?  Check.

A girl not afraid to tell her boyfriend/non-boyfriend that he’s a pussy?  Check.

Blood and guts?  Check.

Foul mouthed grandpa?  Check.

This adorable little fella?  Check.

This adorable little fella? Check.

I really don’t even know where to start with this.  Do you need a plot summary with a title like that?  I sure as hell didn’t.  But if you are interested, Charlie is the pussy that lives with his foul mouthed Gramps and is in love with Gwen.  They both get mysterious letters inviting them to come spend the night at some house on a hill where if they survive the night they’ll get a million dollars (sound familiar?).  So who exactly invited them there?  Oh, just mad scientist out for revenge, Wolfgang Wagner with his penguin sidekick and his new pet monster.  Then we’ve got Raimi Campbell (hahahhaaaa!!  Love it!), the lispy nerd who is trying to get laid; Iggy, the punk ass fake English douche who apparently can’t fuck for more than a minute and a half and Mona, who likes to show her boobs.

If I post puppet boobs, will I get more hits on my site?

If I post puppet boobs, will I get more hits on my site?

The cinematography was kind of effing fantastic for a puppet movie, the script was deliciously quotable (“Why do you smell like carrots?” …..”I am going to head butt the shit out of you!”) and Raimi was hilarious.  Sure it’s nothing that’s never been done before but it throws together so many elements and nods to cinema history and all in puppet form that it totally rocked my socks.  There’s stop animation (at least I’m pretty sure that’s what I saw) that reminded me of Svankmajer, obvious nods to horror movies of past (Evil Dead and House on Haunted Hill for two), there’s a cartoon portion, there’s patriotic symbolism and did I mention the puppets having sex?  And the penguin?

If I haven’t convinced you by now, I’m sure nothing will but check out the trailer below.