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Shark Night

We continue “Creature Feature” week here on Cinema Schminema with the “far-superior to 2-Headed Shark Attack but still not wonderful” Shark Night.  Shakespeare it’s not but “Shark Night” fares better in my book by merely having a plot and no 20 minute shots of girls in bikinis (although never fear, there are the requisite girls in bikinis for viewing pleasure but they’re pleasantly interspersed throughout).

A gang of college pals decides to head up to their friend’s lake house for some much needed fun in the sun.  Sara, the girl whose parents own the lake house, is quiet and reserved and Nick has a wicked crush on her.  The rest of the group consists of an almost unrecognizable Katherine McPhee (at least for me.  After “Smash”, I had to double check online to make sure this was actually her because her character of Karen on the hit or maybe not a hit musical t.v. show is such a sweet little wimp most of the time that her character here was a breath of fresh air.  Anyone else watch “Smash”?  Just me?  Oh wait, I’m completely off topic…..)… yeah, so McPhee, token black guy, token girl of mixed ethnicity and two other dudes.  Of course, as soon as they reach the island they hit trouble in the form of Sara’s ex-boyfriend and his best friend, the token redneck.  Seems island folk don’t take too kindly to edumacated college folk, ya’ll.  Finally, they reach the lake house and the festivities begin with a little water skiing….and then almost immediately there’s a shark attack.  I like the “not too much exposition, let’s get straight to the blood” attitude they took here.  Of course, the first victim is token black guy and he gets his arm ripped off.  He’s still alive and of course Nick is pre-med so they’re able to at least temporarily staunch the blood flow giving him extra screen time.

You took my arm, now I take your life. Revenge is sweet, motherfucker.

What follows is a lot of “Omg, there’s a shark!”  “We’re on a lake!  How could there be a shark??”  “We can’t leave the island because of the shark!!”  “Our cell phones don’t work and we have no way of calling for help!” and shark attack and so on and so forth until….THE BIG TWIST.  It’s huge and it’s epic and it’s sooooooo ridiculous that I almost cried from laughing so hard (here’s a hint – someone’s been watching WAYYY too much t.v.).

Couple of questions – how common is this having a lakehouse on an island and not having any means of communication thing?  Seriously, no radio or anything?  Are lakehouses magically protected from harm most of the time?  And if you knew there was a shark in the water WHY WOULD YOU REPEATEDLY GO IN SAID WATER???  There’s a reason I don’t go in oceans or lakes and that’s because I KNOW something will eat me.  I do not chance fate like that.  Crazy college kids.

Not bad for a shark movie by any means so if you’re itching for some bloody action, give it a whirl.