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Brace yourselves, folks.  It’s a rare non-horror day here at Cinema Schminema.  But don’t leave just yet because if you’re a fan of offbeat, hilariously awkward periodic comedies, then this is the movie for you!  I present to you Spork.

Spork is just your average 14 year old hermaphrodite (hence the nickname “Spork”) struggling with the ups and downs of high school.   Everybody knows that she’s a hermaphrodite and most everybody hates her (even the guy with two dads).  Till one day she meets a guy named Chunk who advises her to stand up for herself and just be her.  So she does so, by throwing a basketball into the face of Betsy Byotch (no really, that’s her name) who constantly makes fun of her.  Now Betsy and her pack of Britney Spears worshiping bitches (no really, they call themselves “the bitches”) are out for blood.  What’s a girl to do?  Well, duh, she should win the dance off so she can have $236 (no really that’s the prize) to partake of a quick “lose fat, get pretty” agent her dead mother prescribed for her.  So with the help of her new friend, Chunk, the aforementioned guy with two dads whom she ends up more than befriending and the closest thing she has to a best friend, her neighbor Tootsie Roll, Spork sets out to do just that.  And you know what that means.  This movie ends with my all time favorite of movie endings – AN EPIC IN  YOUR FACE DANCE SEQUENCE!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe the boys will all like me if I skip down the road with a dead dog!

Spork is one hell of a good time complete with the Napoleon Dynamite‘esque trick of not letting you in on exactly what the time period is.  Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake are mentioned frequently, the bitches wear clothing that made me want to go have a Saved by the Bell marathon and the song Tootsie Roll is played so frequently that I can’t get it out of my head.

Some random facts:

  1.   Whatever time this is was the beginning of krumping because the dancers are still wearing clown makeup.
  2.   The game Twister will enable you to become a champion krumper/break dancer.
  3.   If you like a boy, all you need is lipstick.
  4.  I will never be able to dance like the 14 year olds in this movie.  Well, maybe like that gang of Betsy Byotch’s.

So if you like comedy and you like awkward and you like hilarious indie film, I highly recommend you go watch this.  Like now, byotch. Oh and a little something extra: