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Catacombs

 

Halloween month continues with Catacombs from 2007, featuring Pink and the first original movie from FEARnet.  Yes, the singer is in this and she is not terrible.  She’s billed under her real name so my roommate and I actually spent the first fifteen minutes of the movie trying to decide if it was her or not.  She doesn’t carry the film or anything but her role is a second lead (she’s in the film for about 45 minutes I think) and seriously, I was impressed.  She’s not going to win any awards but she’s a competent actress, I thought.

Anyway, Victoria (Shannyn Sossamon), a girl in desperate need of food because she has heroin chic down pat, receives a postcard from her sister (Pink) in Paris that simply states “Come to Paris, it’ll be good for you.”  Victoria’s never been away from home and suffers from a multitude of ailments (never fully explained except for her extreme anxiety) and has a multitude of pill bottles to take care of herself with but she flies to Paris to see her sister (who’s really kind of obnoxious).  Once there Pink takes her to a massive rave held in the catacombs beneath Paris where a group of her friends tell Victoria about a killer who lives in the catacombs.  Raised by a Satanic cult, “the Antichrist” feeds off people who get lost down there.

Wanna come play with me? I’m really just super lonely…

So what happens next?  Well, duh.  The Antichrist comes out to play after the police raid the rave and Victoria gets trampled on and knocked out and then lost in the catacombs.

 

This movie led to an in depth discussion between my roomie and myself about how well we would fare if we were lost in catacombs. We also discussed my inability to tread water which is actually relevant to this film.

The Good:

  • I love the fact that this is set in catacombs.  Visually it’s creepy because the main characters are surrounded by bones the entire time and it’s also really insanely beautiful the art down there.  I also am not familiar with any other “lost in the catacombs” movies so yay for a new place to be lost in!
  • I enjoyed the fact that Pink was in it and didn’t suck.
  • The ending was pretty great I thought.  Nothing highly special but I actually didn’t like the movie until the ending.

The Bad:

  • I didn’t like the movie until the ending.  I thought the ending really turned the whole thing around but um…I spent the majority of the movie wishing it would hurry up and be over so I can’t say it was entirely worth it.
  • The girl playing Victoria – her audition must’ve consisted of “Yes, scream for me.”….”Okay, say ‘Stop! Go away!'” and that must’ve really been it because yeah, she’s alone for a vast majority of this movie and the dialogue leaves a lot to be desired.
  • There was a particular plot device used (a person to help out in the catacombs) that I just hated.  It was moot and I think they only threw it in because they realized one person alone screaming in catacombs for 45 minutes does not a movie make.

I think I can sum up this movie best with what I repeatedly said to my roommate through out:

“We need to watch The Descent next.  It’s the same premise but a million times better.”