February Rogue is Here – You Know You’re Excited!
It’s that time of month! (Ew no, not THAT time of month…) I only had 3 films this month for Rogue but they were quite possibly the widest range of films I’ve ever had to review at one time – witch hunts to aliens to Lifetime on crack…it was an interesting (and sometimes confusing) time. Stop by and check it all out!
Today was supposed to be a review of The Sinful Dwarf but apparently the universe has decided I shouldn’t watch this movie because it’s making it really, really hard for me to find and watch. So I am sooooo sorry, theipc!!! I’m sincerely hoping to have the movie in hand in time to watch and review for Friday!
I really don’t have the words to describe my overwhelming adoration of Ginger Snaps but I’ll try. This is without a doubt my favorite werewolf movie of all time and it’s the only one I’ve seen (though there are probably more) that link a woman’s monthly curse to lycanthropy. Starring Katharine Isabelle (LOVE!!) and Emily Perkins, the movie is a dark, violent, sexy fun good time.
Ginger (Isabelle) and Brigitte (Perkins) are an unusually close pair of sisters who live by the mantra “Out by sixteen or dead on the scene, but together forever.” Gloriously goth (I think it was still called goth in this era), the sisters do all sorts of fun things like creating gruesome death scenes and taking photos or playing “Search and Destroy” at school (pick out a person and describe how they’ll die). The Fitzgerald girls have some issues.
On the eve of her first period, Ginger gets bitten by a werewolf and starts to undergo some….unusual changes, while Brigitte races to find a way to cure her of her newfound sexin’, partyin’, killin’ and eatin’ people tendencies (which is mostly achieved by hanging out with the school druggie – dude’s smarter than your average pothead!) during which time Ginger slips further and further away from her sister. Seriously, this movie has everything. Family drama, werewolves, gothiness to the core. And the best part? It’s the first of a trilogy. While this one is fine as a standalone, the other two aren’t terrible to watch at all. They don’t compare but they’re nice little bonuses in the Fitzgerald story. Oh!! And Mimi Rogers plays their mom. You may know her as Tom Cruise’s first wife.
If you’re not already enticed into watching this (and seriously I don’t understand how that could be except for how I can’t seem to truly find the words for this epicness), I leave you with some awesome quotes and the trailer:
The fuck, B. This is your idea. If you don’t like your ideas, stop having them.
A girl can only be a slut, a bitch, a tease, or the virgin next door.
Brigitte: Are you *sure* it’s just cramps?
Ginger: Just so you know… the words “just” and “cramps,” they don’t go together.
Ginger: Think she’s pretty?
Brigitte: If I wasn’t here would you eat her?
I get this ache… And I, I thought it was for sex, but it’s to tear everything to fucking pieces.
Eddie the Sleepwalking Cannibal
Today is a guest post by the always lovely Tyson over at Head in a Vice. If you haven’t already, I highly suggest you head over and check out his site as he always does fabulous work AND has a couple of really sweet projects running (such as Desert Island Films and IMDB Top 250 Films Reviewed). Thanks again for this Tyson!! YOU ROCK!!! 🙂
Eddie: The Sleepwalking Cannibal is a Canadian-Danish co-production about an artist called Lars (Thure Lindhardt), who takes up teaching art in a small Canadian town. On his way to his new job, driving through the Canadian back roads Lars drives into a deer in the middle of the road (bloody jaywalkers!). Though the animal manages to survive the accident, it remains unable to move and Lars humanely decides to put it out of its misery. He finds himself a rock and proceeds to try and smash its head in.
In doing this, it’s almost as if something inside of him stirs, and he realises that this brutality is giving him inspiration. It appears as though violence stimulates Lars’ brush, which is an important fact especially considering that the man hasn’t made any new work in years, much to his art dealer Ronny’s (Stephen McHattie) dismay.
Once he gets to his job, he finds that one of his pupils is Eddie (Dylan Smith), who never speaks and appears to have learning difficulties. Lars ends up looking after Eddie and lets him stay at his house, as it turns out that the school is legally bound to look after him due to his Aunt funding the academy. Over time Lars discovers Eddies secret – that when he sleepwalks he eats things, namely animals and people. Although disgusted at first, Lars realises he can harness this and uses Eddie to continue to give him the inspiration for his painting. There were no real twists in the story from this point on, and it ends in a predictable fashion.
The film has a nice pace to it, and director Boris Rodriguez manages to mix together a decent blend of horror and satire but also never overplays the genre elements. Acting wise, although this is a very low-budget film, the majority give good performances. Lars is a likeable enough character that is really the ‘bad guy’ in the film, he just happens to find artistic inspiration so elusive that he’ll take it where he can get it, and that to him the ends justify the means. Eddie is just doing all that he knows really, and is used by Lars. Dylan Smith really is the stand out performer, although he never speaks he manages to be a likeable character that I felt sorry for, and he has some great subtle mannerisms, despite what he was capable of doing in his sleep! The love interest for Lars comes in the form of fellow teacher Leslie (Georgina Reilly), and again she plays her role well.
It is a weird, darkly comic tale that I saw marketed as a film in the same mould as Shaun of the Dead. Sadly, whilst Shaun was a brilliant film, combining humour, zombies and violence perfectly, Eddie never gets near the same heights. Whilst it doesn’t shy away from a little blood and violence, to animals and humans, the humour was never really present. I’ve read reviews which describe this as ‘terrifically funny‘ and ‘the best horror-comedy in years‘. Part of me wonders if they were indeed reviewed by someone involved with the making of the film, as with all due respect this is not a film which should be getting 10/10 ratings like it has at a couple of places. Either that or I’m just being cynical, and it’s just me that doesn’t ‘get‘ it.
In conclusion, sometimes a movie title shows us exactly what we are getting, and no film can do that more than Eddie: The Sleepwalking Cannibal. It’s a film about a cannibal named Eddie, who eats living things when he sleepwalks. If that doesn’t sound like something you want to see then there is nothing I (or anyone way more important than me!) can say about it that will change your mind. As the saying goes, ‘it does exactly what it says on the tin‘, and in fairness it’s really not a bad film and a refreshing change from anything else I’ve seen for a while. It knows it’s a low-budget B-movie, and it never strays far away from this path. I guess if it had a more serious tone and offered up a bit more blood and gore, or alternatively ramped up the comedy I would recommend it a lot more. As it is, Eddie is a harmless little film that whilst I wouldn’t recommend you go out of your way to catch, if you see it cheap or on TV then it may give you a chuckle or two.
Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter
Oh, J.C., you are a superstar. Not only are you the son of God but you are one multi-talented kick ass prophet! Thank your father for this movie which shows us all the ways in which you rock.
Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter is no ordinary movie, oh no. It’s a smorgasbord of good times and fun featuring the most excellent skills of one Jesus Christ, not to mention giving us a glimpse into our future world where vampires kill lesbians precipitating the second coming. (What? I don’t write this stuff, I just watch it.) Anywho, J.C. returns to earth to wreak havoc on the vampires and takes down some atheists along the way, ultimately saving the world, getting the girl and becoming best friends with a Mexican wrestling superstar.
How does he accomplish this? Why, with his kickawesome ninja skills of course!! Turns out our guy knows some serious martial arts. He kicks, he slices, he dices, he takes down at least 30 atheists in one scene alone! J.C.’s one heck of a fighter and he manages it all (or at least most of it) wearing a dress. I mean, robe.
J.C. also has an invisible deejay following him around to soundtrack his life, enabling him to not only break into song and dance in the middle of the street but also to inhabit several different personas. One second he’s Shaft, the next he’s ghetto fab white boy. I want a deejay to soundtrack my life now. Wonder where I find that?
After all this ninja’ing, singing and dancing, you’d think ole J.C. would want a break but no. See, having these skills just isn’t enough. J.C. constantly tries to top himself by becoming a drummer, a jazz musician, being a healer and ultimately stopping the vampire apocalypse. Is there anything this guy can’t do??? Apparently not!
So next time you feel alone and unsure in your life, watch Vampire Hunter and remember Jesus has totally got your back.