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He Said/She Said: Buttcrack

Check out today’s He Said/She Said!  It’s all about the crack!

Buttcrack

Shakespeare it’s not, but Buttcrack is also not the most horrible movie I’ve ever seen.  I’d almost call it “bordering on this side of decent.”  But then I also watch a lot of weird ass movies.

So what’s it about you ask?  Well, it’s about friendship and roommates, preacher men and witches, zombies and buttcracks.  This film packs in a whole heck of a lot in its 68 minutes.  Sadly, however, it’s still not quite enough to satisfy this girl.

The story (what little there is of one) follows a pair of roommates.  One’s a decent sort of fella (we know this because he has a girlfriend and clothes that fit) and the other?  Well, the other is slovenly and constantly has his crack on display. Mr. Decent and his girlfriend finally reach the point where they can no longer stand Mr. Buttcrack and after what may be the lamest marriage proposal in the history of the world and a nice little vomiting scene, Mr. Decent accidentally (“accidentally”?) kills Mr. Buttcrack by dropping a radio in a tub.  Oh but wait!  Mr. Buttcrack has a sister who’s a witch and she brings him back to life so all can experience ZOMBIE BUTTCRACK!!!!!  Muahahahahaaaa!  What more could one want from a movie?  Just for extra measure, there’s also a very strange, slightly creepy preacher man (who actually refers to himself as “Preacher Man”), the scariest clown portraits you’ve ever seen and the lamest “1 Year Later” sequence ever.  And there you have it.  Clowns, preachers, witches, buttcracks and zombies all rolled into one little film.

I can’t recommend this movie but neither can I give it a “Run Away Screaming Rating”.  Watch at your own risk and consideration.  And remember, “We’re all zombies in the end!”