The First Five: Da Hip Hop Witch


What the FUCK did I just try to watch??  What the FUCK??  Eminem what the hell were you thinking appearing in this?  What was anyone thinking??  My respect for Eminem took a nose dive after attempting this atrocity (and yes, I do like Eminem’s music, big fan actually).

This is what Wikipedia has to say about it:

“After learning about the “Hip Hop Witch”, a powerful supernatural being that lurks in the ghettos and attacks upcoming rappers which makes their record sales go up, five suburban teenagers go on a quest to get their rap careers started by being attacked by said witch. Filming their experience, they run into past hip hop stars that have already battled the Witch in person.”

I didn’t get that far of course.  After Eminem appeared, I gave up and  quickly,  The cinematography was shite and I couldn’t tell what was going on and it was just so bad I wanted to cry.  Poor rap stars.  You all need hugs after this.

So yeah, Da Hip Hop Witch should be avoided at all costs.  Go find your favorite rapper in another movie, yo.  Trust me.

About mistylayne

I'm a Z movie loving, horror hound, Buffy quoting, Dr. Who watching, geekazoid and seeker of all things unusual. I'm a gypsy wanderer, lover of words, Wendy of the damned and all that jazz. What can I say? I'm complicated.

Posted on 2013.30.September, in American Indie, Horror Comedy, Lo-Budget, The First Five and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 15 Comments.

  1. A Shitfest: Winter addition?

  2. LOL ! I know a bad review always makes me want to see it, but this time, I think I’ll pass.

  3. Hahaha! I thought I was the only person in the world who tried to watch this. I couldn’t finish it either. 🙂

  4. From Wikipedia: Preceding the film’s release, Eminem’s lawyers attempted to have his scenes removed from the film, and tried to halt its distribution. In 2003, Artisan Entertainment planned to reissue the film on VHS and DVD with artwork prominently advertising Eminem’s appearance in the film. Before the film’s reissue, Artisan recalled copies featuring this artwork without official explanation.

  5. This is bad, but I was assuming that it was clips from a whole bunch of different things edited to seem like some cohesive story line – like a shitfest trailmix 🙂 and from the info Brian posted, it seems none of the clips were cleared with the artists appearing in the film (or whatever it is). And now it seems M&M wants to sue or stop the film because of unauthorized use of his image and words – which is ironic because the whole Hip-hop scene was made by lifting other people’s music and using it in unauthorized potato salads – I mean songs/raps.

    • I really just have no freaking clue what this was supposed to be. I mean, I know it was supposed to be a parody of the Blair Witch Project but oh my gosh, SUCH a mess!!

  6. I guess winning and Oscar doesn’t mean you always do good work.

  7. I couldn’t even finish the trailer…


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