Guys…guys, guys, guys…I really am not quite sure what to say about Freak Dance. It’s either the most brilliant social commentary ever done or the worst movie Amy Poehler has ever been in. I seriously can’t decide. I watched this about 3 days ago and it’s taken me this long to even attempt to write a review. Bullet points can’t really suffice because there’s too much WTF? happening – it would be the longest post ever. I could do another picture only review but it still won’t quite capture the…magic that is this movie. So I’ll see what I can do here because words kind of escape me when it comes to this.
We open on a young girl dressed as a ballerina dancing around her room in her mansion (and when I say young I mean 20 something). Cocolonia, as she’s called, wants to dance more than anything but her mother has forbidden it. So Cocolonia runs away to the streets to become a true street dancer, even though technically she can never be because she comes from money and has never smoked marijuana. Okay?
Then we have two street dance groups who are mortal enemies – Fantaseez and Dazzles. Fantaseez people are all about the love of the dance and dancing for love while Dazzles group is about dancing for sex. Also the main leader of Dazzles was, I’m fairly certain, either Richard Simmons or Perez Hilton…With Fantaseez, you get a lot of quotes about dancing like, “Learning to read is what dancing is all about.” or “Staying away from drugs is what dancing is all about”. There’s also A LOT of talk about dance bulges and how they help enable balance. Oh and there’s singing, did I mention the singing yet??
So Cocolonia joins up with Fantaseez and after they teach her how to work her ass (no, really), she kind of sort of becomes a member and starts to fall in love with their leader, Funky Bunch. Also there’s a scene in a slaughterhouse when she’s trying to learn to be poor.
Of course there’s an underground dance competition that turns into a freak dance off in an effort to save Fantaseez meeting place from being shut down by a building inspector who has ulterior motives and also the FBI is involved…or the CIA…I forget which. So the question is, can Fantaseez be saved? Will Dazzles convince Cocolonia to become a sex dancer? Who can outfreak the other?? Do you think it’s possible I could tweet Amy Poehler and actually score an interview with her about her motivations for being in this movie???
Okay, I kind of loved it. It’s not for everyone, hell, it’s really not for the majority of people and I think there’s maybe one person reading this who might enjoy it. But seriously, it’s kind of brilliant. No, really…
Posted on 2013.28.April, in American Cinema, American Indie, Musicals and tagged amy poehler, auto tune twins, cocolonia is seriously her name y'all, dance bulge is my new favorite phrase, dazzles, freak dance, marijuana is bad m'kay, people can dance on ceilings?, pure brilliance, richard simmons, upright citizens brigade, wtf?. Bookmark the permalink. 36 Comments.
I am over these parody movies, personally. We get it, people who are making them: you are cool, you are self-aware, sincerity is not cool or self-referential, and the 80s were cheesy. Sit down.
Eh, to each their own, I guess.
I actually would not classify this as a parody at all. Probably seems weird but I’d put this more along the lines of “Idiocracy” – I really wasn’t joking when I said it might be the most brilliant social commentary ever. It’s ridiculous yes but it’s not making fun of the genre so yeah, I just can’t classify it as a parody (especially since I’m not a fan of parodies myself, lol).
Great review as usual Misty! And I LMAO at the “when she’s trying to learn to be poor.” I can only imagine that entailed smoking pot and denying her monied background! LOL
It actually involved cutting up a pig in a slaughterhouse while almost getting it on with Funky Bunch. This was like some strange mix of John Waters and Troma…Thanks for the comment, Mike! 🙂
Sounds like a marriage made in celluloid hell! John Waters and Troma…*shudder* LOL
Two of my faves in one mash-up!!! 😉
Amy Poehler is one of my wives.
I adore her and Tina Fey.
Sounds like my kind of movie!!!
You would HATE this. Pretty sure this would make your Most Unclean list. 😉
HAHAHA that’s a great reply!!!
You mean this wasn’t made in 1984?
Oh no, this is soooo recent. They just really like neon.
Surely this has to be a Joke? I hope it is. I hope it’s some genius social satire. Oh god. Interesting Review as always, Misty.
I’m seriously half convinced it is some genius social satire. It’s Upright Citizen’s Brigade though so maybe not… 😉 Thanks for stopping by!!
Just saw Shark Attack on cable. I suddenly thought of you, like what would your commentary be. It was so stupod ! Seriouslt stupid. And i loved it. ( The shark jumped off the sea abd successfully ” bit” into a jet flying overhead. The jet looked like a toy.
Ha! I watched that! When it eats the jet, it’s awesome!!
Sorry for the typos ! ! !
Now your making me want to finish watching Dance-Fu. Yes, I said Dance-Fu.
Oh, Dance-Fu is in my queue. I know exactly what that is. But have you ever seen Gymkata?? Now that is some awesome stuff!
Wow, now you’re going way back. The only Olympic gymnast that did a martial arts flick. Too Awful!
I love that movie, lol!! It’s so kickawesomely bad!
Amy Poehler has bills just like the rest of us.
I know…but still…
I think Amy Poehler is so talented that she could make even the worst movie interesting simply for her presence alone.
Oh, I adore Amy Poehler – she and Tina Fey are two of my heroes. But she is only in the movie a bit.
She does make “dance bulge” sound a lot classier though.
I love Amy Poehler and Matt Besser from the Upright Citizens Brigade. It might be worth a watch!
If you love them, then definitely worth a watch. 🙂 I’m not familiar with Matt Besser (think maybe he played Funky Bunch?) – anyway, apparently this has been a stage show for a couple of years and they decided to do the movie version.
I need to get my freak dance on now. Watch out ladies.
Video that and post!!!!!!
It’s just a bunch of hip thrusting and that one move where you move your hand in front of your body, going from side to side point at all the ladies.
Oh, I know that move well but you still need to film yourself doing it. For reals. Get on that.
There’s totally nothing wrong with loving those ‘oh my goodness, it’s so bad, it’s actually kind of good’, type of things. 🙂
I know. I just am afraid I love them a little too much in an unhealthy way sometimes. 😉
So long as you’re still functioning you’re okay. 😉
Good point. 😉