Movie Jail Relay Race


Thanks so much to Mike over at Mike’s Film Talk for passing me the baton in the Movie Jail Relay Race!  Been at least a month since I’ve participated in a blog-a-thon so away we go!!  🙂

The Movie Jail Relay Race was started by Nostra from My Filmviews  and Terrence from The Focused Filmographer.  Now the official rules are as follows:

”It’s time to put some movie people in jail. The object is to give a prosecutor’s argument as to why these movie people belong in “Movie Jail” whether it be for violating the integrity of the content source of one their films, or being a sell-out, just making bad movies overall, getting worse as time goes on or not being in a good movie for many years. The baton will be passed to another blogger who will have to do the following:

In order to free someone from Movie Jail they have to do 2 things

1 – Give a defense attorney argument defending the plaintiff

2 – Pay bail: the cost of which is another case for the court and a prosecutor’s argument against the actor/director of their choice that will replace the one set free.

There must always be 10 people in Movie Jail.”

Current Inmates are:

Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer


Katherine Heigl


Shia Labeouf


Kristen Stewart


Jennifer Lopez


Damon Lindelof


Rueben Fleischer


Paul W.S. Anderson


James Spader




The Participants (so far):

1. My Filmviews / The Focused Filmographer

2. Cinematic Corner

3. And So It Begins…

4. Surrender to the Void

5. Cinematic Paradox

6. The Cinematic Spectacle

7. Being Norma Jean

8. Defiant Success

9. …let’s be splendid about this

10. Lime Reviews and Strawberry Confessions

11. Aziza’s Picks

12. Flixchatter

13. i luv cinema

14. Public Transportation Snob

15. The Warning Sign

16. 3 Guys 1 Movie

17. Cutting Edge Creativity


19. Morally Oblogatory

20. Knights of Mars Roundtable

21. Head In A Vice

 22. MikesFilmTalk

23. Cinema Schminema

So who am I heisting from the big house?  Well, the majority of you are going to hunt me down with torches and pitchforks a la Doctor Frankenstein but I’m totally releasing this girl:


That’s right.  Ms. Kristen Stewart gets a pass from me.  Why?  Well, I’m not entirely sure why she’s in jail here – I’m assuming it’s because the majority of the world thinks she’s a bad actress (emotionless and lip bitey).  Or perhaps it’s because people think she never smiles and should be happy for her fame, dammit.  Or maybe it’s because she supposedly cheated on R-Patz with that director dude.

My rebuttal?  Kristen Stewart is talented.  Hella talented actually – girl’s got chops.  I think the problem is that most people associate her with Bella from Twilight and Bella is one of the worst written female characters in recent history.  The fact that a woman wrote her makes me want to scream.  But I’m not here to discuss the underlying messages of abuse and deprecation in Twilight, so moving on…Kristen Stewart’s been acting her whole life – obviously she’s doing something right or when she moved out of the cute child phase, Hollywood would’ve dropped her like a hot potato because that’s what H’wood does.  True, a lot of stuff I’ve seen that she’s fantabulous in is older stuff but she’s been working on Twilight for what, 6 years now or something?  4 years?  A long time anyway and I’m not even going to count Snow White and the Huntsman because that whole movie was just stupid from marketing to plot (Theron was brilliant, I will give it that much).  But what about The Runaways?  Loved her in that (and loved the movie).  AdventurelandSpeakPanic Room? Fierce People?  C’mon, guys, the girl can emote.  Problem is, she’s been stuck in “lip-biting, awkward, I need a man to love me or I’ll die” Bella phase for WAY too long.  I’m hoping On The Road (which I’m dying to see as I adore Kerouac) will help break her out of the public mindset of awkward.

If it’s the never smiling thing well I feel her there because I am not a fan of the smiling at all.  My friends are constantly yelling at me to “smile, dammit!!”.  I prefer to be dark and mysterious and yeah, icy.  It’s my schtick (well sometimes, I have different ones) so I can’t begrudge the girl for not bouncing around all rainbows&sunshines&lollipops&pixies.  If it’s the “she should be happy for her fame” thing I have this to say – sometimes people become actors because they love to act, not because they want to be famous and there are tons of people out there who are actors, working actors, and can walk down the street without having cameras shoved in their face.  Yeah, fame can come with the game but it doesn’t mean you have to be completely joyous about it all the time.  I am painfully shy 50% of the time (which is WAYYYYY better than I used to be) – I can’t even function at events with lots of people without anxiety medicine – so if I ever get famous, I might be walking around all cranky looking too.  That or completely zombified from the meds…

And if it’s the supposed cheating thing?  Well, it’s none of my damn business.  And also I remember what it’s like to be that age and dear lord, if I told you all stories of me from back in the day…heh, well, I’m not gonna because the amount of stupidity I had happening in my 20s was off the charts.

AND now that I’ve released poor Ms. Stewart from her stint behind bars, I need to find someone to replace her…who, oh who should it be??  I’m thinking this guy:



First, how did you guys get those bars on your pictures?? Mine suck, lol!  Second, let’s get one thing straight – I ADORE JOSS WHEDON.  Seriously, the day this dude let’s me go pick up his dry cleaning will be the best damn day of my life.  However, I fucking LOATHE The Avengers.  That was one piece of shit mockery of a film and I am completely heartbroken that my hero was behind this mess.  😦  You sold out, Whedon and you didn’t even do it well.  And that, my love, is why you are now in jail.  You go make good original kickawesome stuffs again please.

And now it’s my turn to pass on the baton and I’m passing it to our good friend, Eric over at the ipc!  Be sure to check out who he decides to spring!!  And thanks again, Mike, for letting me in on the fun that was the Movie Jail Relay Race!!  🙂

About mistylayne

I'm a Z movie loving, horror hound, Buffy quoting, Dr. Who watching, geekazoid and seeker of all things unusual. I'm a gypsy wanderer, lover of words, Wendy of the damned and all that jazz. What can I say? I'm complicated.

Posted on 2013.4.April, in Irregular Posting and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 57 Comments.

  1. Uh…Why isn’t the Lohan still in jail?? How the hell did she get out?? Where’s my baseball bat, I’m going to hunt her down! *growl* LOL 😉

  2. Agree, The Avengers got more praise than it deserved. I enjoyed it, but people treated it as the second coming of Citizen Kane.

  3. Gotta agree with you on The Avengers, though I didn’t loathe it, it was definitely overrated.

    To be honest though, I’ve never seen a good performance from Stewart. However, I’ve never seen any of the movies that you mentioned liking her in. I guess I should look into that then… 🙂

    • I am the only person I know who actually hated it with a fiery passion. *sighs* But I am glad some people agree that it was overrated, makes me feel better. 🙂

      You should! I dunno, I think she does better in the indie fare than the big blockbuster types but that’s just me. 🙂

  4. I wonder why James Spader is in there.release him, please. And for some reason, Jennifer Lopez annoys me. She deserves to be jailed, imo.

  5. Those prison bars are epic! 😛

    Poor Joss. I liked The Avengers. Enough to watch it 3 times at the theater.

    • I am a TRUE artiste. :-p

      I fell asleep and when I woke up, I started Googling “Avengers sucks ass so hard” to make sure I wasn’t the only one who hated it… 😉 I adore Joss otherwise though, lol.

  6. I loved the Avengers – I found it to be very entertaining and it showed some endearment towards the source material.

    • I am not into superhero comics just other types of comics so I can say nothing about the source material. Good for them if they didn’t ruin it but I still hated it – lots of boring, moments of smashing, then huh what? is pretty much how I sum it up. 😉

  7. LOL @ your prison bars!!! Well played 😛

  8. Part of me really wants to play this game… but I won’t be able to do it as well as you guys! 😉 I love your wiggly bars, makes Whedon look like the strong man who almost busted out, hee hee!

    Good defence of Stewart, you have me swaying to your side! 🙂

    • You can do it!! I let Lohan escape prison for a bit (you know like she does every other day ;)) so I am clearly not the master of this game. *giggles* Also thank you!! You just made me feel 100 times better about my silly bars, lol. 🙂

      And yay!! If I only sway one person, I will consider it success!! 🙂

  9. I’m ON it!! Well – later – off to the theater to see the new EVIL DEAD!!!!!!

  10. Joss. Say it isn’t so. The Avengers rocked.

    I will agree about Kristen Stewart, not sure she is as bad as people think. The problem is, Twilight made her career and she will always be seen in that role. Maybe she can break out.

    By the way, like the bars on your picture, better than I could do.

    • I cannot express my dislike of The Avengers adequately. Other than that I ADORE Joss. He’s one of my heroes. Was anyway… 😉

      Glad you agree about Stewart though! I dunno if I agree Twilight made her career, I thought she was really well known before that but maybe that did put her on the map for younger generations? I could be wrong but she’s definitely most associated with that unfortunately.

      And haha, thank you! 🙂

  11. Awesome post! I am down with releasing Kristen Stewart. I have no interest in the Twilight series but I enjoyed Snow White. I love Panic Room and I thought she was awesome in Adventureland (even wrote a review on it).

    I’m not a Joss Whedon fan but I will admit I enjoyed Avengers. Either way great post!

    • Thanks! Glad you are down for releasing Ms. Stewart. 🙂 Adventureland was a good one for sure!

      I LOVE Joss but yeah, The Avengers was just…asinine, lol.

      Thanks for stopping by! 🙂

  12. I completely agree about the Avengers, for such a high-budget, star-studded film with such a rich allocation of content behind it, I thought it was complete and utter balls, I loathe the people who applauded in the cinema, when I saw it. My god.

  13. I agree with this choice. I remember when everyone was saying what a great young actress she was in Panic Room, and then they turned on her because some Twilight fans act like idiots. By this logic people should hate Emma Watson too b/c of certain Harry Potter fans that act like idiots, but she gets a free pass! Also, I hate being told to smile too.

    • Thanks, Erin! I really though people were going to throw tomatoes at me and harangue me for my choice but there’s a lot of not Stewart hatred out there, which makes me happy. Good point about Emma Watson as well. And yeah, smiling makes me cranky.

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  15. Couldn’t agree with you more. That would’ve been exactly who I’d take out and put in. “The Avengers” sucked, although I can’t understand likes anything Joss Whedon’s been in control of, he’s the worst writer in Hollywood. Can’t stand any of his shows, or how anybody thinks they’re intelligent unless you’re a dumb 12-year-old girl. I know you disagree with that, but glad he’s in there, glad Kristen Stewart’s out, ’cause you’re right about her. I think she’s the next Jodie Foster, and if anybody watches almost anything she’s in other than “Twilight” and “Snow White…”, they recognize that instantly.

    • I guess it depends on how you feel about strong female characters and the layers that are written into the show. Plus the continuity alone is pretty amazing at times. I’ve also read a ton of books about Buffy and the writers on the show and essays on the themes of feminism and sexuality, etc. and so forth. But I’m glad you agree with my choice for The Avengers – thank you!! 🙂

      And yeah, the girl’s definitely got the chops. Glad you agree on that one as well. Thanks for stopping by and commenting! 🙂

  16. I’m frequently on the Stewart hate wagon, but I’ll admit that I haven’t seen any of the movies you mentioned except for Panic Room, and that was when it came out.

    The first time I saw The Avengers in theaters, I wasn’t among the people raving about how amazingly awesome it is. I’ve watched it on blu-ray since, and I think it’s pretty sweet for what it is – a comic book/super hero movie with an ensemble cast. Whedon did an especially good job making sure everyone got enough screen time, even if the character arcs themselves aren’t always the best. I still won’t say it’s brilliant across the board, but it gets a lot of things right.

    • She’s been in more than people realize – I like when she does indie film and I only named just a couple of her indie stuff.

      I am also not a huge superhero fan (although I’m a huge comic book fan, I just read non-superhero ones) so while I had the jist of what these people were about it wasn’t entertaining to me at all. Also superheroes and villains should be going around fighting and smashing and that only happened in like the last 30 minutes. RIDIC. 😉

  17. Okay, okay, the thing about Whedon… Now I didn’t loathe The Avengers, but on second viewing, it left me really disappointed. But I feel if I ever had to watch it again, I’d groan and groan and groan. BUT I LOVE THE CABIN IN THE WOODS OH MY GOD. I like the jail bars…

    I tolerate Stewart. I loved her in Panic Room and I’d have to rewatch Adventureland. It’s not like I’d want to hunt her down and hit her with a golf club, but in some stuff like Twilight or Snow White… Kinda. Maybe a wiffle ball bat, she doesn’t deserve to be hurt too badly, I don’t hate her THAT much… Too bad she did spend so much time with Twilight. Hopefully it doesn’t turn out to be literally like the Twilight Zone and she can’t get out of it, I want her to be seen as good again like she was a little teen! Before Twilight! Grrrr. I see some potential for her, and I think one day I could really like her again. Today, though, I can only say I don’t mind her that much.

    I can’t wait to see On the Road either, I hate when movies only get limited releases and don’t come to me 😦

    Nice post, Misty 🙂

    • See, I found Cabin in the Woods underwhelming too. I liked it, don’t get me wrong but essentially it was just an extra long special episode of “Angel”. Of course, maybe 4 years of waiting for that movie built it up to an insane amount of awesome in my head too, lol. The final scene though? THAT was the best thing ever.

      Not minding her too much is better than hating her. I seriously think the poor girl gets some serious shade thrown her way.

      That sucks. 😦 I have no idea if or when it’s playing here cause I rarely go to the theatre but I’d go for that. Kerouac is one of my inspirations!

      • Ohhh hahah I’ve never seen Angel and I wasn’t anticipating it for four years at all, so it blew my mind!! Hahaha very true.

        And and is it bad that I don’t know who Kerouac is?

      • *giggles* Very different experiences then. 😉

        You’re…17? 18? Right? Or am I just making that up? If you’re that young, it’s totally find you don’t know who Kerouac is – but he wrote “On The Road” and “Dharma Bums” and is one of the beatniks along with William S. Burroughs. 🙂

      • Hahah, 18 🙂

        Ohhh, so he’s the author of the source novel? Okay, good to know 😀 I was going to guess that he was a director I never heard of :$

        *Googles beatnik, and admittedly William S. Burroughs…* LOL

      • Yeah, he wrote the novel. 🙂 And no, lol but that is really funny. *giggles*

        I’m a huge fan of the beats, Kerouac is one of my writing inspirations. 🙂 More for “Dharma Bums” than “On the Road” though.

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