House of Fears

*Before we start, if you haven’t yet checked out Guerrilla Graffiti, you definitely should!  There is so much awesome happening there it’s almost overwhelming.  🙂  Two examples:  FALLEN (by me!) and “It’s a ‘Listen to the Beatles on Vinyl in Headphones’ Kind of Night”.*


I’m 95% certain the only reason I added House of Fears to my Netflix queue was because of Mr. Clown there on the front because I do love a good killer clown movie, especially the ones that look almost too cheesy for words!   Imagine my dismay when House of Fears turned out to a) have very little clown action in it and b) be just on the side of decent.  *sighs*  I guess you can’t win them all when it comes to the hunt for bad horror movies.

There’s nothing new when it comes to House of Fears – it’s the typical “teens sneak into an abandoned fun house for teenage sexy shenanigans when an ancient evil awakens and preys upon them” sort of gag but where others have been able to make this plot into something ridiculously hilarious, House of Fears manages to do a not half bad job of making a decent movie.  As by the numbers as it may be, the actors don’t totally suck, the script tried it’s best to add layers and the evil clown when it did finally show up was effing terrifying.  I also rather enjoyed the use of scarecrows happening here.  Not enough evil scarecrows in the world – I can only think of like 4 other movies of the top of my head.

We're pretty so of course we're going to die!

We’re pretty so of course we’re going to die!

What we’ve got here are:  the adorable couple that can’t keep their hands off of each other, two stepsisters who aren’t fond of each other and the dude the stepsisters are fighting over (okay, really it’s actually less melodramatic than that – one girl doesn’t like her stepsister, the other sister is kind of ambivalent about the whole thing and it’s the dude that’s trying to get them to fight over him).  Still we’ve got our stereotypes (and there’s a prankster around, he’s just not in this photo).  We’ve got a funhouse of fears that has a handful of classic phobias and a monkey statue!  I almost forgot about that monkey statue – that’s the big KEY TO IT ALL in this.  AND there’s power tools!  Kind of a smorgasbord really.

And of course there's this guy.

And of course there’s this guy.

So what I’m really trying to say here, while using a lot of words to say nothing at all, is mostly that I’m sleepy but other than that I’m saying I wouldn’t recommend you go out of your way to hunt this one down but if you happen to come across it one rainy day, it’s not a bad way to pass the time.



About mistylayne

I'm a Z movie loving, horror hound, Buffy quoting, Dr. Who watching, geekazoid and seeker of all things unusual. I'm a gypsy wanderer, lover of words, Wendy of the damned and all that jazz. What can I say? I'm complicated.

Posted on 2013.27.March, in American Indie, Horror, Lo-Budget and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 28 Comments.

  1. You now I love your writing and everything but this was my favorite about this post: “jared padelecki really cameo’d in this??” and “fuck clowns”


  2. Even if that’s the worst, it[s still right up my alley. Can’t get enough of scary scenes.

  3. I would definitely watch this if it was called House of Silly Fun.

  4. I fuckin hate clowns, especially clowns that look like Quark from Deep Soace Nine. Scary!!

  5. Wait wait wait. An ancient evil that manifests itself as a clown? I’m sure I’ve heard of that plot point that was done a lot better back in the early 90s, but maybe it’s just me…

  6. Sorry, I can’t watch the trailer because the clown picture’s already freaked me out, hee hee!


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