House of Fears
*Before we start, if you haven’t yet checked out Guerrilla Graffiti, you definitely should! There is so much awesome happening there it’s almost overwhelming. 🙂 Two examples: FALLEN (by me!) and “It’s a ‘Listen to the Beatles on Vinyl in Headphones’ Kind of Night”.*
I’m 95% certain the only reason I added House of Fears to my Netflix queue was because of Mr. Clown there on the front because I do love a good killer clown movie, especially the ones that look almost too cheesy for words! Imagine my dismay when House of Fears turned out to a) have very little clown action in it and b) be just on the side of decent. *sighs* I guess you can’t win them all when it comes to the hunt for bad horror movies.
There’s nothing new when it comes to House of Fears – it’s the typical “teens sneak into an abandoned fun house for teenage sexy shenanigans when an ancient evil awakens and preys upon them” sort of gag but where others have been able to make this plot into something ridiculously hilarious, House of Fears manages to do a not half bad job of making a decent movie. As by the numbers as it may be, the actors don’t totally suck, the script tried it’s best to add layers and the evil clown when it did finally show up was effing terrifying. I also rather enjoyed the use of scarecrows happening here. Not enough evil scarecrows in the world – I can only think of like 4 other movies of the top of my head.
What we’ve got here are: the adorable couple that can’t keep their hands off of each other, two stepsisters who aren’t fond of each other and the dude the stepsisters are fighting over (okay, really it’s actually less melodramatic than that – one girl doesn’t like her stepsister, the other sister is kind of ambivalent about the whole thing and it’s the dude that’s trying to get them to fight over him). Still we’ve got our stereotypes (and there’s a prankster around, he’s just not in this photo). We’ve got a funhouse of fears that has a handful of classic phobias and a monkey statue! I almost forgot about that monkey statue – that’s the big KEY TO IT ALL in this. AND there’s power tools! Kind of a smorgasbord really.
So what I’m really trying to say here, while using a lot of words to say nothing at all, is mostly that I’m sleepy but other than that I’m saying I wouldn’t recommend you go out of your way to hunt this one down but if you happen to come across it one rainy day, it’s not a bad way to pass the time.
Posted on 2013.27.March, in American Indie, Horror, Lo-Budget and tagged fuck clowns, house of fears, house of mirrors, jared padelecki really cameo'd in this??, not the dean koontz movie, scarecrows should be scarier. Bookmark the permalink. 28 Comments.
You now I love your writing and everything but this was my favorite about this post: “jared padelecki really cameo’d in this??” and “fuck clowns”
LOL – AWESOME!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Haha! I swear I looked on Wiki and it said Padelecki had a cameo and I like him because I’m a Supernatural AND Gilmore Girls fan and I didn’t see him ANYWHERE!
How funny – I liked him in my bloody valentine 3 d : )
I didn’t see that one. He’s sooooo cute. 🙂
HMMMM – MBV 3D is all kinds of awesome – you have to see it!
Really?? Isn’t it a remake of that not so great 80s movie about the miners? Or did I make that up?
It’s a remake but it’s not much like the original – here’s my thoughts on it that no one’s ever read : )
It’s one of the first things I ever wrote so forgive typos and grammar problems : )
WAIT – Jensen Ackles AND Jared Padelecki are in this?????
YEP!! And it’s FUN – there’s a scene where the miner is chasing these two girls through a grocery store that’s all kinds of awesome!
It has the two leads from one of my favoritest shows. I don’t even CARE what it’s about now – I am there. AND I’m making the 12 year old watch with me because she thinks they are *swooonyyyy*!
OH MAN – I just looked and I think I confused Padelecki with Eckles – no Padelecki – I get them confused : (
I’m sorry!!!!! It’s still totally fun!!!
Hey, as cute as Padalecki is, Ackles is WAYYY hotter so I’m still in. 😉 And it does look fun!
Even if that’s the worst, it[s still right up my alley. Can’t get enough of scary scenes.
Scary scenes are the best! 🙂 This one doesn’t have too too many unfortunately.
I would definitely watch this if it was called House of Silly Fun.
It’s a much more appropriate title for sure.
I fuckin hate clowns, especially clowns that look like Quark from Deep Soace Nine. Scary!!
Haha @ Quark! Clowns are EVIL.
Wait wait wait. An ancient evil that manifests itself as a clown? I’m sure I’ve heard of that plot point that was done a lot better back in the early 90s, but maybe it’s just me…
Well, it only manifests itself as a clown in ONE part. Elsewhere it’s a mannequin, a mummy, a scarecrow and an evil dog. So it’s totally not like the one you’re thinking of at all. AT ALL…. 😉
So instead of being the ONE I was thinking of, in reality it’s about FOUR others that I may be thinking about now?
EXACTLY. Plus aspects of a book by the author that is known as the lesser of the author of those FOUR.
But if, apart from that, it’s an entirely original work, I don’t think we have any right to judge someone’s hard work.
You make a good point. And I *would* make friends sit through this with me because it really is just so damn adorable.
Sorry, I can’t watch the trailer because the clown picture’s already freaked me out, hee hee!
I don’t really know why I wrote ‘hee hee’ at the end of that comment. That was just weird.
Haha, it was funny not weird! And I totally understand not being able to watch the trailer because of the clown, lol.