Antfarm Dickhole Redux

When last we left our hapless…um…heroes, there was a whole lot of nothing going on – nothing that included masturbation, ants, and masturbation.  So let’s pick up where we left off.  Ready, y’all?

  • Weird cupcake guy is hitting on the girl sunbathing in the woods.  Because that makes sense, sunbathing in the woods…
  • “Um…I don’t exactly know my lines…so I will stammer my way through this scientific explanation of how ants are living legos…”
  • Now they’re just seeing how many times they can use “ant” in a phrase in one sentence.  *sighs*
  • Did I miss something?  Suddenly several people have been killed by the ants.  When did that happen?
  • Yay!  A detective!  Detectives always equal good fun!
  • “The word ‘dick’ was spraypainted on your car.  I suspect whoever did it knew you.”  HA!
  • This guy has to be so incredibly stoned.  Only stoned people talk like this – completely circular.
  • Um..fake toy ant coming out of a fake cock…I agree dude, “Why god, why??”
  • “If I can’t have a girlfriend, none of you can either!”  This movie was written by stoned 12 year olds, no doubt.
  • I don’t even know how to describe what’s happening now, I really don’t.  I just…what?  Sex with (WITH not IN) a car, bloody vayjayjay and apparently you can lock people into their cars these days by propping a stick up outside the door.  WHY AM I WATCHING THIS????
  • Not a single woman in this movie wears clothes.  They only wear bikinis.  With sneakers.  I really really dislike this movie.
  • This girl is wearing clothes!!!  Actual clothing!!!
  • Brain water, y’all, brain water.
  • Yeah, I always shower in my underwear too.
  • I am SO going to laugh when masturbating guy falls through that glass table.  Oh wait, he’s not masturbating, he appears to actually be having sex with an open window.
  • They’re ANTS people.  STEP ON THEM.

And I quit.  This movie is quite possibly the stupidest movie I have ever seen (and I don’t use the term “stupid” lightly).  Goodbye, Antfarm Dickhole, may you rot in the deepest depths of Hades.  I am SO watching a good movie next!

About mistylayne

I'm a Z movie loving, horror hound, Buffy quoting, Dr. Who watching, geekazoid and seeker of all things unusual. I'm a gypsy wanderer, lover of words, Wendy of the damned and all that jazz. What can I say? I'm complicated.

Posted on 2012.24.September, in American Cinema, American Indie, Lo-Budget and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 36 Comments.

  1. Watch Josie and the Pussycats next!

  2. This sounds SO TERRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean there’s only so much beating off and car sex a person can take before they have to quit… right?

  3. I guess there are certain movies we just have to give up on. This sounds like one of them. I applaud you for giving it a go though. You’ve saved so many of us from suffering.

  4. I suggest your next good movie should be The FP (*backflip* *hip thrust* *served*)

  5. OMG, absolutely amazing! When I have had enough time to mentally prepare myself I’m totally taking this one on 😀 Might I recommend you try Terror at Blood Fart Lake for your next z-adventure?

    • Good luck you in your Antfarm Dickhole endeavours! 😉 I am so eager to hear your thoughts on it (and see if you can finish it, lol). And WHAT??? (Said like they say on Family Guy) – that sounds so…so very…WHAT??? I am off to find that now…my day is shot. Thanks, James! 😉

  6. I watched the whole film. I’m still riding high and the regret has yet to hit me, so I posted a little review.

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