Spliced (a/k/a/ The Wisher)
I’m not sure where exactly to start with Spliced (aka Wisher)……the fact that Drew Lachey (Nick Lachey’s) brother is in it and is uber creepy boyfriend wannabe….the nod to my favoritest of all horror movies “A Nightmare on Elm Street”……or the hilarious one liners and horrible continuity….So I’ll try to start somewhere near the beginning.
Mary is a teen who absolutely adores horror movies. As she tells her school guidance counselor (who for some reason is able to prescribe medication to the students, wtf??), being scared arouses her. She and the counselor honestly seem a little closer than they should be….Mary also sleepwalks and has horrible nightmares (this does NOT seem to arouse her). Her father pretty much hates her for her sleepwalking ways (seriously, I thought he was the evil stepfather for awhile he was so horrible. Because sleepwalking is of course something a person does on purpose…..). He forbids her from watching scary movies and of course, being a teen, she goes to the movies with friends to watch the latest and totally hyped horror flick “The Wisher”. Now, lucky for us viewers, we actually get to watch a bit of “The Wisher” along with Mary and her friends and trust me when I say it’s just as fabulous as “Spliced” itself! Unfortunately, the movie is too intense for Mary (really? A tree eating someone is intense? What the hell kinda movies have you been watching, girl?) and she has to leave the theatre 15 minutes in. Also unfortunately, her father has realized that she’s at “The Wisher” and is on his way to get her….except he doesn’t make it…..wait, I totally forgot that part where Mary wished he would just go away when she left for the movie right? Whoops!
Anyway Mary is really upset about his death one minute and then totally nonchalant about it the next. Her little sister seems to be dealing with the whole death thing fairly well too (“We’re going to the cemetery? Cool!”) This is one cold family. Mary also hasn’t learned anything about using the word “wish” because she keeps wishing for things to happen and of course they do. So is the Wisher actually real? Is it her guy friend who wants to date her who seems to be creepily stalking her? What exactly is going on?? Well, my friends, you must watch for yourself to find out. Trust me, the whole story is pretty epically funny though!
Random points of interest:
I’m not sure what the year is in the movie. There are internet cafes but people still rent videos. Not dvds but videos.
Proper school attire includes wearing the same white halter top EVERY DAY.
In one scene, it’s night then daylight then night then daylight…
Said to creepy stalker boyfriend wannabe – “When you said you liked me did you mean as a friend or as a friend with benefits?”……Wait, what? Is there not a dating option in there?