Zombie Women of Satan
A BIG thank you to E. from theipc for this super special and super awesome guest post!!!!!!
If you and I were to go to a bar, order a shot and a beer and start talking, it would probably go something like this:
(Drinks arrive) YOU: So you watched that movie?
(Sipping beer) ME: Yup…
YOU: Was it any good?
(Dropping my shot in my beer glass) ME: ohmygodno..
YOU: It sure looked pretty crappy…
(Drinking my boilermaker): But I liked it!
ME: Yep… it sure begs the question… “Is it necrophilia if one of them is undead?”
And there you go – if you’re going into a movie called Zombie Women of Satan your expectations should be set pretty low. But, if you have the right frame of mind and aren’t expecting something like “Drive”, then you might experience a not-too-bad movie – well wait, hold up, stop, it’s not “good” from a production or quality or end product point of view, but it’s kind of funny, doesn’t take itself seriously at all and actually has some LOL moments. It’s pretty crappy acting all the way around and you’ll have to deal with a ton of bleeding boobs, a pooping dwarf, a guy named Pervo the Clown, a filthy, chained up, old woman who desperately wants her husband to “touch her”, a lot of blood and gore, some male “self satisfying” at odd moments, a pulled out eyeball and, yep, some zombie sex, you know, “in the name of science“. But for real, it’s not that bad.
To open we have two stories unfolding. In one, a group of “travelling circus freaks” are performing for a group of women in some club in some unnamed city. Elsewhere, we are introduced to some sort of cult or commune or something at some swanky English estate where women of all sizes lounge around drinking and playing pool half naked (all in white lingerie) and getting the sex from either the son or daughter of the insane scientist who is performing “zombie experiments” (you know, in the name of science) to figure out the undead and win a Nobel Peace Price. The zombie experiments involve him chaining some poor woman to a table (in her lingerie, mind you), giving her a shot of some sort of liquid and watching her die, come back to life and become a flesh eating daughter of Satan. Oh yeah – then he kills her and feeds her body to his wife who is chained up nearby.
As it typically goes, during an interlude of one of these sessions, the daughter comes by with a punch bowl, some of the infected blood drips into it, it is served to the “community” and all of the crap hits the fan, in the form of the half clothed living turn into the flesh craved, half clothed dead and they start roaming the estate looking for their supper. How are Pervo and his buddies going to survive this mess? Well, it’s going to involve a lot of corny dialogue, zombie boob rubbing, baseball batting and something pretty funny with a chainsaw. This was a LOT better than I expected.
E Isaacs is the brains (or the lack of) behind his blog at theipc.me – he enjoys horror movies, classic doctor who, writing notes in leather bound journals, complex white board diagrams and does his best work while wearing his hulk hands.