Sexy Evil Genius

sexy evil genius

Omg, why was Sexy Evil Genius so boring????  This had a really good cast – Michelle Trachtenberg, Seth Green, Anthony Michael Hall, William Baldwin, Harold Perrineau.  I mean, that’s a pretty darn good cast, right?  I love Michelle ever since “Buffy” and c’mon, who doesn’t enjoy Seth Green??  (Okay, to be fair, some people may not).  But he’s playing the straight man here and it’s awesome to watch.  In fact, everyone does a great job in this movie.  Even William Baldwin doesn’t suck.  But my gods, was it a boring movie.

The best two in the movie though.

The best two in the movie though.

So the gist is that Nikki (Katee Sackhoff, who I am NOT familiar with) gathers three of her ex-lovers (Seth, Michelle and Harold) to meet with her and her new fiance (William).  But she can’t just have a big group meeting and be straight about it.  We find out over the course of the film that Nikki is either a really free spirit or one straight up psychotic bitch (my vote goes to psychotic bitch btw) so the whole evening is one big mind fuck.  And the whole movie just spins in circles where you keep thinking one thing will happen but then it never does.  And the whole movie is set in a bar and the action rarely leaves the one table the characters are at.  Normally, I LOVE talky movies like this but this one I just could not get into.

So really that sums it up – great cast, terrible plot, great acting, very talky with no action which is normally a plus – I should’ve loved this thing…*sighs*

Blast Vegas

Blast Vegas

Oh SyFy, are there even words to describe how much I adore your offerings?  I’m not sure I can find just the right words to even begin to proclaim my love of your silly so silly and oh so fun movies.  The latest being Blast Vegas, of course.  *sighs*  Such movie perfection.  Such movie actors – Frankie Muniz (so THIS is where he went off to!) and Barry Bostwick (man, do I ever love you, Barry!!).  Just *sighs*.

Seriously, though this movie is ALL sorts of cray cray fun!  This group of college kids goes to Las Vegas on spring break, dragging along one Frankie Muniz and one Andrew Lawrence (and oh, did he ever get that cutie gene like his bros did!).  Frankie’s all “I don’t want to be here” and “Who puts ketchup on a hot dog??” (is that a weird thing?  I don’t eat hot dogs but I thought people DID put ketchup on them?).  Meanwhile, they meet a group of girls including one Olive who was also dragged along and would rather be studying ancient history than partying.  She and Frankie meet and it’s almost love at first sight.  *le sigh*

Frankie and Olive

Frankie and Olive

And then you have Barry Bostwick as the gin loving, piano playing Vegas singer whose been around the block more than a few times.

Barry, Frankie and Gin

Barry, Frankie and Gin

But really our story starts with Phil, the SendEx guy who gets robbed and pistol whipped at the very beginning of the movie by two guys who want a precious piece of cargo he’s carting to one casino – an ancient sword.  The robbing doesn’t go very well as once the pair of baddies start driving away, a dust storm tears them to pieces then dumps the sword right back by pistol whipped Phil, who apparently goes ahead and delivers it because next  time we see it, it’s in said casino.  Damn, those SendEx guys are good!  Robbed, pistol whipped and you STILL manage to get your delivery in on time??

Next, comes our spring breakers and boys being boys, Andrew Lawrence and the gang, minus Frankie steal the sword and go stick it in the dirt out back.  Now, did I mention this sword has an Egyptian curse attached to it??  But then, don’t they all?  Anywho, sword in dirt, sword not come out of dirt, boys go back to partying.  Boys not too bright.

What follows is an epic dust storm – actually a snakedustnado (a dust tornado made up of dust snakes) that wreaks havoc on Las Vegas while people die left and right and our spring breakers plus Barry look on in despair…will our gang survive?  Will they be able to break the curse?  Is it really  and truly up to Frankie Muniz from “Malcolm in the Middle” to save the day???

Well, boys and girls, I guess you’ll just have to watch and see for yourself the epicness that is “Blast Vegas”!  ;)

Bunni

bunni

I have to admit to being a fan of this offering from Red Serial Films and Daniel Benedict.  It’s def got an old school slasher feel to it with just the right amount of cheesy goodness to make it pretty damn fun for the whole family.  Okay, well, not the whole family.  Definitely don’t show this one to the kiddos!

Our story starts with an abused woman fighting with her husband and the whole thing just starts with a BAM! (picture that in comic book style writing, k?).  Then we move on to a bunch of college age kids out at a bar for Halloween – we’ve got Dickface (whom I wanted to punch in the balls), his girlfriend, Sweetie and then Honeybee and her boyfriend, Ninja Turtle.  No, of course those aren’t their real names in the film but we know how I like to name characters and make them my own. ;)

Honeybee and Ninja Turtle are pretty norms and a cute little couple.  Dickface is cheating on his girlfriend and majorly abusive towards her verbally.  Again, did I mention the ball punching I wanted to do?  Anywho, they decide to leave the bar and on the way home stumble across this old boarded up former sex shop so of COURSE they just have to break in and see what it’s all about.  Can’t blame them, I would’ve done the same thing.

HoneyBee and Ninja Turtle

Honeybee and Ninja Turtle

Dickface drags Sweetie off so she can give him a bj while Honeybee and Ninja Turtle explore the rest of the place.  And that is when the slasher fun begins.  I am happy to report that Dickface is the first to die in an EPIC way that includes…well, you just have to see it.   Brilliant, absolutely brilliant.  (Seriously, I hated this character SOOOO much.  I was SOOOO happy when he died first!)

Sweetie, HoneyBee and Dickface

Sweetie, Honeybee and Dickface

Obvis, as it’s a slasher movie, a whole bunch of other people die, so I’m not giving anything away there.  There’s also a twist, I actually didn’t see coming, that had me say ‘Wait, what?????’, so that was fun.  For such a lo-budget film, the special effects and gore are totally top notch.   This is one of the goriest films I’ve watched in awhile (although I haven’t been watching a ton of movies, I know but still).  And it seemed to be all old school effects so major ups for that shiz.

The acting varied.  The majority of people were pretty good but there were definitely a couple of moments where I wondered if this was some of these guys first film.  Nothing so atrocious that it totally took away from the overall effect, just a mild moment here and there where I went, “Huh.”  And if it was their first film, then good for them because they picked an excellent one to be a part of.

So what can I say?  I dug it, cheesy parts, gory parts, even the couple of parts that made me say “Hey, what?” because this right here is what true indie film is all about especially when it comes to horror.  You go Daniel Benedict (writer/director/Dickface) and Red Serial.  You guys are rocking it!

Anatomy of a Psycho

Anatomy of a Psycho

So I found this cool app on my Kindle where you could download like 99 classic horror films for $.99.  Of course I wasn’t going to pass that up especially since I am severely lacking in the classic horror department of my education – it’s pretty limited to things like Cabinet of Dr. Caligari and Haxan.  I decided to watch them in the order they appear in the app and this was right after Bucket of Blood (which I’ve already seen and own) so Anatomy Of A Psycho it was.

Anatomy of a Psycho 2

Meet Chet.  Chet here is apparently a teenager…ahem…whose brother has just been executed because he was accused of killing someone.  Chet thinks his brother was innocent and is extremely upset about his bro’s execution while everybody else, including Chet’s sister believes the other brother was guilty and got what he deserved.  Anyways, Chet gets increasingly delusional and paranoid (or something…really he just starts ranting a lot and getting into fights) until he finally attacks the son of the only witness to his brother’s crime – a boy who happens to be dating his sister.  Dum dum DUM!!!!  Oh and someone dies.  Just fyi.

I don’t watch a lot of classic movies (remember how I was going to try to watch all sorts of classic movies in 2013 and it never happened??) so I dunno how I feel about this movie.  Mostly I was confused that everyone was talking about going to school, a school with lockers, when they all looked to be in their 20s – did they not actually use teenagers in movies back in the 60s?  Then I was annoyed by the sister because dear lord, all she did was swoon onto couches in hysterics.  Seriously, woman, pull yourself together!  Oy.  And thirdly, I was confused about why this was a horror movie.  I’d classify it more as a psychological thriller – a bit of a boring one but still.  I also saw elsewhere that it was classified as exploitation…not sure how that one works either.  Melodrama, definitely.  Horror – not even.

But overall, it was okay.  Yes, it was melodramatic at times and silly but it wasn’t the worst thing I’ve ever seen.  It was fun to watch something I’m not used to, at any rate and I’m excited to check out the other 97 or so films.

American Mary

American Mary

Pretty sure you all have seen American Mary already but if you haven’t get thee forth post haste and do so!  Man, did I love this movie.  It’s got one of my biggest all time girl crushes in it, Katharine Isabelle from my beloved Ginger Snaps, and the story itself is just kickawesome.  I never knew what was going to happen next and that so rarely happens these days.

Meet Mary.

Meet Mary.

Mary’s just your typical med student who wants to be a surgeon, who’s also up to her eyeballs in debt, a total starving student as she says at one point.  To make ends meet, she decides to try to her hand at stripping but things don’t exactly go as planned.  Instead of stripping, she’s asked by the club’s owner to help save the life of one of his boys who is extremely hurt for whatever reason.  $5000 if she agrees to help him out.  So of course she does.  I would too for that kind of money and I’m not even in med school.

Next she starts to get harassed by a woman named Beatrice, a dancer from the club, who has had extreme body modification done to look like Betty Boop, while really she just looks uber creepy.  Bea has a friend who wants to be a living Barbie doll and as such wants…well…she wants the full Barbie package including the whole no genitalia and asexuality bit.  Once again there’s a lot of money on the table and since Mary’s still in debt, she once again agrees to do it.  Poor Mary, this is really the start of her downfall.

Beatrice.  Totes creepy, right??

Beatrice. Totes creepy, right??

After Mary does this surgery, more follow till…well…if you actually haven’t seen this one, I don’t want to ruin it for you but let’s just say Mary gets drawn into a seedy underworld and then something unspeakable happens to her that makes her go just a teensy bit cray.  Just a teensy bit though… ;)

Seriously, this movie rocks more than words can describe so if you haven’t seen it GO NOW!!!  I included a link up top just for you!  Damn, I love Katharine Isabelle.  She is so phenomenal and so incredibly hot.  I need to go watch this again, like right now.  Laterz.

New Issue of Rogue Cinema is Up!

The latest issue of Rogue Cinema is up and not only do I have my usual reviews but one of my short stories was also published in this month’s issue – several of you have already read “The Lovely Seeker” but I’ll include it for those who haven’t who might want to check it out.  The issue is chock full of fun interviews and reviews so check it out!

The Lovely Seeker

Jimmy

Milk Paton

Stuck

The Falls

The Soul of Flies

Happy 2014, Y’all!

Just wanted to wish y’all a happy 2014!  2013 was a year of ups and downs for me personally (mostly downs, it was quite hellacious, lol) so here’s to 2014 being a helluva better year!  What’s your resolutions for this new year?

Peace, light and love to you all. <3

Vampz! Episode 3: All Tied Up

vampz

In Vampz! episode 3, we’ve got our drunk little brother being kidnapped by the coked up vampire hunter, while our heroines (wannabe vampire and actual vampire) must figure out a way to save him.  Also coming into play are some new characters in the form of coked up vampire hunter’s gamer buddy who sits around playing video games against little kids, some random dude who apparently never sees any action and a very blue doctor.  Literally blue, not figuratively.

All of this makes for a highly entertaining episode especially the scenes between drunk little bro and coked up vampire hunter.  Equally fun is the conversation between wannabe vampire and actual vampire about why actual vampire can’t attack gamer buddy like she did coked up vampire hunter.  The vampire has morals, y’all but don’t worry she isn’t all sparkly like Twilight or anything.  ;)  Oh and these characters do have names – I just have more fun describing them this way.

Still highly recommended web series and I’m eagerly awaiting the next episode.  If you STILL somehow haven’t checked this one out, friends, do so!  :)

Darkroom

darkroom1

Well, Darkroom is…interesting. And has absolutely nothing to do with photography like I thought it did.  Instead, it’s a kind of mixed up tale of a girl who got into a car accident, killing her three friends, who then gets sent to rehab instead of jail and then ends up as a playtoy for three psycho siblings hellbent on purging her of her sins.  So yeah…interesting…but I’m not sure how much I liked it.

What I definitely didn’t like was the first thirty minutes or so where the scenes keep switching in a non-linear way from Michelle (the aforementioned girl) being in rehab, hanging with her friends at a club, going on a modeling job and then being in psycho land.  Back and forth and back and forth and back again, the scenes switch with me being convinced that she actually died in this car wreck and is in purgatory (she didn’t so no spoilers there) but I was terrifically confused this whole time as to where we stood on the time frame of things.

Our Last Girl Standing

Our Last Girl Standing

Essentially, the mother/warden from the rehab clinic or whatever it was, is actually one of the psychos and has two brothers.  They grew up with a crazy religious mother who said things like “Confess your sins!” and “You’re a dirty little girl!” so that really fucked them up for life.  Not sure how they all landed jobs at this rehab place but whatevs.

And to carry on their mother’s legacy, when girls are let out of the rehab, they tell them they’re getting a job helping out on a modeling gig (helping out with lighting and hair/makeup/etc.) but when the girls arrive, they’re told a model has dropped out and they will need to take her place.  And that’s when the real fun begins as the trio of siblings slices and dices and makes mincemeat of the girls all while haranguing them about their sins and being “dirty little girls”.

The acting is far from terrible in this but is just typical of your standard slasher film.  There’s a couple of good fight scenes that happen near the end that I really dug.  There’s your typical cat and mouse going on – will Michelle escape or won’t she?  Overall, pretty standard fare.

Not great and not terrible, this is good rainy day material.

Merry Christmas, Ya’ll!

Here’s hoping you guys have a truly magical holiday.  Thanks for sticking around as long as you have with my little blog too especially since I’m a very…up and down blogger. ;)  It’s truly appreciated.

Merry Christmas, ya’ll. :)

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