Category Archives: Nunsploitation

Bikini Bandits Experience (NSFW – SO NSFW, NSF Anything Really)

BikiniBandits1

Okay, guys – here we go!  I have NO idea how I’ve never come across Bikini Bandits Experience before or even this group because there are MORE MOVIES.  I also have no idea how to describe this exactly.  Whilst watching, I kept pondering how to go about describing the experience…so I think I’m going to try things this way.

There's this...

There’s this…

There's a couple of visits to Amish country...

There’s a couple of visits to Amish country…

Corey Feldman, y'all, Corey Feldman...

Corey Feldman, y’all, Corey Feldman…

BikiniBandits5

We got Satan, folks!

OH!  OH!!  Almost forgot this guy!

OH! OH!! Almost forgot this guy!

And can't forget these two because yeah, this happened.

And can’t forget these two because yeah, this happened.

So what else?  Well, here’s a handy list:

  • Dwarf
  • Penis Laser
  • Amish Porn
  • Devirginizing the Virgin Mary
  • Corey Feldman dancing
  • Spanking
  • Bondage Gear

The only thing this movie is lacking is Japanese schoolgirls, no lie.

So yeah, you’re welcome.  ;)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Killer School Girls From Outer Space

 

Dude, y’all!  Just dude.  So I followed this guy on Twitter – he had a production company named Angry Nun Productions which made me *giggle* and also reminisce on the days when I was in an improv troupe called “Nuns in Straitjackets” and worked on this sketch show called “L.A.F.F.S.” and then my mind wandered to things like School of the Holy Beast and…yeah, well, suffice it to say the whole angry nun thing really struck a chord.  So we exchanged a couple of DM’s and I mentioned my site and how much I was loving the name of not only the company but also of this film because seriously y’all, just seriously look at that mother effing title!! (I get a little excited whenever I see the word “schoolgirls”…brings up some great movie moments in my mind…)  Anyway, he sent me a screener and I was all prepared to have this done right after Halloween month was over and well, ya know, Sandy and all…soooo, here it finally is – Killer School Girls From Outer Space!!!!! (There are seriously NOT enough exclamation marks in the world for this shiz).

“Directed by Alexander Shumake and starring Ron Jeremy, Donny Boaz, Julin, Derek Lee Nixon, Denise Williamson, Jordan Brower, Jenny Zhang, Kaci Flores and Clem Beard, Killer School Girls From Outer Space is a low-budget throwback to the classic sci-fi and exploitation B-movies of the 50s and 60s – but with a modern sexy schoolgirl twist…” ~IMDB

EXPLOSIONS!!!

The movie starts out with a quick note about how they truly dig on Roger Corman and how they aspire to be like him and how this movie is made in the same sort of way he did his early works which boils down to this is a superfun throwback to the drive-in days (E, I think you’ll love this!!!).  We’re talking lovers at Lover Lane, racist ole men, spaceships and small town fun, drag races and Ron Jeremy – this has pretty much everything anyone could ever want from a movie.

Old Man Jenkins!!!

The opening credits start with an army of men being attacked by schoolgirls and ends with an entirely wicked shot of a planet being blown up complete with old-timey sci-fi music (they talked about that in the directors commentary and I can’t remember the instrument they referenced…) shot with grainy, spotted film that mimics the look of instant classics such as Machete and Hobo with a Shotgun.  Next up is Ben and Allison out at *insert appropriate name for makin’ out spots here* where Allison is giving Ben a BJ, after which they discuss his inner turmoil at wanting to quit the football team (he’s the quarterback of course and Allison is a cheerleader).  Allison (Denise Williamson, who looks a lot like Amy Adams here) sweetly promises him she’ll always be cheering for him when they are distracted by a shooting star and decide to go check it out.  Before they can make it to where the star landed, they of course have to stop at the local drive in diner/hang out (seriously, I could almost swear this was filmed in my hometown, eerie…) where they must catch up with Ben’s best bud (who promptly asks him why he’s hearing that Ben is quitting football – 5 minutes after he’s only ever told Allison and god, that cracked me up because this happens the whole movie and if you’ve never lived in a small town and by that I mean small, then you don’t know the annoyance/humor that goes with everybody knowing your business even before you do) and where Ben is promptly drug into a drag race (more accurately Chicken) with the local bad boys.  The local bad boys are kinda hot, just sayin’.

MORE NUDITY!!!!

Drag race/chicken game, then off to finally find the shooting star which ends up being a SPACESHIP!!!  Ben and Allison also run into a burnt up Old Man Jenkins who ends up being killed in front of them and after that they are on the RUN!  First place they go is the police station where they tell their story to the deputy and sheriff (the sheriff being an older fella who doesn’t cotton to dang kids these days with their rock music and their heathen ways) who don’t believe them and then a whole bunch more people die and then suddenly everybody does believe and well, I don’t wanna ruin anything here but let’s just say the ending is so awesomely and ridiculously ridiculous in that epic drive in movie way.

And did I mention THIS guy is in it??

It should be apparent by now that I pretty much loved this movie as it’s right up my alley but here’s the thing – this is the type of movie that has to be right up your alley or you’re not going to like it.  If drive in flicks and old 50s era sci-fi movies aren’t your thing, avoid this.  If sometimes less than stellar, but ALWAYS effective CGI isn’t your thing, avoid this.  If people exploding isn’t your thing, avoid it.  If schoolgirls aren’t your thing, avoid this.  You know what?  If the title KILLER SCHOOL GIRLS FROM OUTER SPACE doesn’t get you all tingly and superexcited inside, then avoid this. (But how could it NOT????)

SCHOOLGIRL!!!!!

But if you’re like me (and I really think there’s a big majority of my readers who would totally groove on this here thing) and schoolgirls make you giggle like one, people exploding into bits of blood and bloody parts makes your eyes go wide in excitement and you want nothing more than to keep repeating this title in that way that only Samuel L. Jackson can, by repeatedly saying “Mothereffing killer school girls from mothereffing outer space!!”, then this movie is made with you specifically in mind.  And you will love it.

You can find the trailer HERE along with how to order, should you be interested.  Plus there’s other cool stuffs that come with such as a bonus dvd on how to be an indie filmmaker which I personally totally dig on since I’m into that kinda thing.  You’ll also find all the lovely photos that I heisted from (and linked back) with the trailer!  Killer School Girls from Outer Space is a wicked fun time, just like making it with your old lady down at the drive-in!

 

 

Sacred Flesh

Not only is this sexsploitation but it’s nunsploitation.  Oh yes, ladies and gentlemen, we have another entry in the more often done than one would think nunsploitation genre.  At least this one tries to make a point (I mean a point other than “nuns having sex is cool”.)

Sacred Flesh opens with Father Henry, the abbot, and his over sexed servant, Richard, being summoned by a convent’s abbess.  As they make the journey, Father Henry and Richard discuss the pros and cons of chastity.  They arrive at their destination to find that the mother superior is having visions of Mary Magdalene and a dead skeletal nun.  The abbess believes this is due to sexual repression and wishes it to be stopped with the mother superior rather than spreading.

The rest of the movie mostly concentrates on Sister Elizabeth, the mother superior, and her debates with Mary Magdalene over desire and chastity, the pleasures of the flesh and the sins of repression.  Interspersed in their musings are vignettes representing other nuns’ confessions and fantasies.  They start with self-pleasuring, move to flagellation and lesbian sex, finally ending with a nun being violated by two priests, another nun tied to a cross and also violated, while others nuns have a three-way.

Some of the images are disturbing especially if you’re religious or spiritual.  The underlying message of whether or not abstinence and virtue are, in this day and age, still applicable is certainly an interesting topic and one that should be addressed.  I’m just not sure this was the best way to do it.  The trailer is as usual below but if any of this doesn’t appeal to you, please don’t watch the trailer and please remember while it’s light on the nudity it’s probably NSFW!

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 3,260 other followers