Vicious Lips – The First Five

viciouslips

Well, we’ve got E over at theipc to thank for this entry into The First Five.  ;)  I haven’t done one of these in quite awhile and honestly I didn’t mean to do one now but my gods was this atrocious!!  Okay, not entirely E’s fault as he didn’t know – he just wanted me to a guest post over on his site and found this streaming on Netflix and suggested it and since it was already in my queue I ran with it.  Now I feel compelled to warn the world – AVOID.  Just AVOID at ALL costs.  And just forgive any cursing that may happen from this point forward, please? Geez Louise….

WHAT THE FUCK, VICIOUS LIPS??  WHAT THE FUCK??  Okay, gotta be honest here – this is really the first 22 minutes.  That’s the point where I gave in and emailed E and told him what was going on and he started yelling, “Abort! Abort!” and then there was this whole bit of mass confusion and well…yeah…I honestly don’t have a clue what this is supposed to be about other than a rock band in space.  I think.

This was there...

This was there…

Basically all I got from what I watched was this:

  • Dude looks like a lady!
  • Yowza at that guys teeth – somebody should’ve invested in braces when they were a kiddo.
  • It’s like Street Trash meets High School Musical meets The Jetsons.
  • Oh and there’s Judy Jetson?  And she sings like a guy.  Really?  Why is her name now Trudy?
  • What??  Oh wow.  Judy/Trudy has obviously been some sort of mindwashed and The Dream appears to be her trigger word because now there is some crazy punk rock video epicness happening!
  • I don’t even know if this movie is SUPPOSED to make sense.  Why did that guy just lose an eyeball?
  • Geez, if this is what MTV was like, I’m so glad I missed out on it.  This is headache inducing.
  • Wait, now Judy/Trudy can sing?  Like a girl?  And well?
  • Why did we just hear someone’s thoughts?  Is telepathy coming into play?  Or was that just a weird choice in narrative?
  • At this point, I’m just waiting for everyone in this movie to die.  That would make me happy.
  • And now Judy/Trudy has a Southern accent.  Oh for the love of…
  • Eric, I want you to know that you are NEVER picking out another movie for me to watch EVER.  Between this and The Sinful Dwarf, I’m pretty sure you hate me, which is sad-making because I am AWESOME.
  • Oh yes, filming things in neon red light makes it all SO much better.
  • Worst dance party ever.
  • So many montages.  And we’re only 22 minutes in.
  • Yeah, I want to be on drugs right now too, lady.
  • At least that one woman is dressed like a Christmas tree so this film is kind of in the spirit of the season.
  • Did I even mention that there’s spaceships? No?  Yeah, there are.
  • Spaceship crashed.  Unfortunately it looks like everyone’s still alive.

AND…that’s as far as I could go.  Just please, for your own health & safety, avoid whatever the hell this steaming pile of movie is attempting to be.  Seriously.  You’ll thank me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

About mistylayne

I'm a Z movie loving, horror hound, Buffy quoting, Dr. Who watching, geekazoid and seeker of all things unusual. I'm a gypsy wanderer, lover of words, Wendy of the damned and all that jazz. What can I say? I'm complicated.

Posted on 2012.4.December, in American Cinema, Musicals, The First Five and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 34 Comments.

  1. I was briefly thinking about watching this one for Schlocktoberfest but it looked way too confusing. Looks like I made the right call.

  2. Oooh…one for the to-watch-as-soon-as-possible list then. Thanks for the recommendation! :)

  3. I would never intend to cause harm to anyone, much less my friends, so I do apologize for this : ( In my defense, the real, underlying reason I suggested this, aside from what you wrote, is that I was going to watch it this week or next… O_o. I am NOT going to get all CLOSETS with this and see if I can make it through it – I am going to take your word for it and move along with my life. With CLOSETS we had some good chuckles. I just got burned with something called ANNA’S EVE and I’m still pissed. Sorry. Friends??

  4. I’m fairly tough on making it through challenging movies. Maybe I’ll give it a go some time.

  5. OMG that’s too funny!

  6. “The First Five”… does that mean movies where you turn it off after the first five minutes? :D

    Can’t say I blame you. There are a lot of films that just aren’t worth finishing (though I seem to be unable to turn them off personally.)

    • *giggles* Yes! Well, in this case 22 minutes. ;)

      I usually don’t let films beat me but this was just…I would almost rather watch The Sinful Dwarf again…and that’s saying something!

  7. Hey there!! I’ve nominated you for the Inspirational blogger award. Check out my last post. :-D

  8. dutifullybroken

    As a fellow blogger who consistently enriches my journey, I Dutifully Broken, nominate you mistylayne, for the Beautiful Blogger Award! Thank you for moving me with your words.

    http://dutifullybroken.wordpress.com/2012/12/07/39/

  9. You Have Been Nominated For The 2012 Blog Of The Year Award.
    Please Check-Out This Link To Find Out More :)

    http://youjivinmeturkey.com/2012/12/08/the-2012-blog-of-the-year-award/

  10. I wish I’d had the sense to bail. I have seen this entire shit fest. Alisa and I are debating doing it for the blog but we’re afraid we’d have to watch it again. And, for real, *SPOILER* it was a DREAM!

    • *applause* Seriously, you deserve major props for making it through this “movie”. And WHAT?? WTF??? It was a DREAM?? If I had actually sat through this and that happened, I’m fairly certain I would’ve thrown things…you should not watch it again. No one should ever have to watch it once…

  11. Nice review, i like your explanation by points, easy to understand ……

And.........Action!

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