2-Headed Shark Attack

Let me preface this by saying I really really like The Asylum.  They’re the guys that put out tons of movies (most of which are knock offs of movies in the theatre – “Transmorphers” anyone?).  But 2-Headed Shark Attack was 2 ridiculous for even me.  And that’s saying something.

The film stars Brooke Hogan, Charlie O’Connell and Carmen Electra as part of a crew of college students who are spending a semester at sea (well, O’Connell and Electra are part of the crew, Hogan is a college student aboard).  Early in the movie, a shark (not a 2-headed one, a regular one) gets caught up in their propeller and they decide to go to a nearby atoll to see if there’s any materials they can use for repair.  Of course then the 2-headed shark pops up eating people left and right and to top it off, the atoll is sinking into the sea (as in it’s crumbling to pieces).  Things look bleak for our hapless heroes!

Thoughts:

Look, I know it’s Carmen Electra and she looks good in a bikini and all but this ISN’T Carmen Electra of the 90s.  There is NO need to spend 20 minutes of the movie filming her sunbathing in a bikini.

Look at me! I’m Carmen Electra in a bikini!

I wonder if Charlie and his brother Jerry talk about acting a lot.  Charlie – “Dude, I just booked this role in “2-Headed Shark Attack” with Carmen Electra!  It’s gonna be kickawesome!”  Jerry – “Awesome, bro!  When I’ve finished up my stint on Broadway working with Alan Rickman, I’ll totally come visit you on set!”  Yeah……

Brooke Hogan wasn’t great but she wasn’t horrible.  I only cringed like 50% of the time and I really expected it to be worse.

2-headed shark attacks should be wicked awesome and gory.  Here, they are not.  :(

I absolutely understand the point of saving money but when you use the *exact* same clip of Carmen Electra screaming, “Get out of the water!  Get out of the g–damned water!” twice in a row in such an obvious way, I find it entirely sad-making.  And then I laugh you.

I highly recommend skipping this one.  There is absolutely nothing here worth viewing.

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About mistylayne

I'm a Z movie loving, horror hound, Buffy quoting, Dr. Who watching, geekazoid and seeker of all things unusual. I'm a gypsy wanderer, lover of words, Wendy of the damned and all that jazz. What can I say? I'm complicated.

Posted on 2012.11.June, in American Cinema, Horror and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 19 Comments.

  1. The shark was on an episode of Monster Man on Syfy channel.

  2. It wasn’t great, but I’d watch it 1000 times over just to see the woman ‘welding’ the (seemingly wooden) boat.

  3. Honestly this two-headed thing is just dumb in itself:( Not on my watching list thats’s for sure:) Thanks for the review.

  4. You are a crack up! Can this go to hell with the Assault on Precinct 13 remake??

  5. Did you see “Jersey Shore Shark Attack” this weekend on the Sci-Fy Channel? (Do you remember when they actually showed Sci-Fi shows?) Rich and I were laughing so hard as every NJ sterio-type was in the movie!!!!!! A must see laugh a minute shark movie for us!!!!

    Trish

  6. Thank you, Asylum, for your contributions to the world of cinema and your fine film classics. American cinema just wouldn’t be the same without you.

    • One of my life goals is to one day be in an Asylum film….I have such high aspirations. ;)

      • That’s funny, I always wanted to be in a Syfy “original”. I always wanted to tell people I starred in a movie called DINOCROC VS. SUPERGATOR. Or a Uwe Boll film. I can’t seriously be a worse actor than the people already appearing in these shitfests, can I?

      • No, you absolutely cannot be. It’s not possible. Go for it! :)

  7. Oh god I really love B movies like this haha, guilty pleasure :D

And.........Action!

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