The March issue of Rogue Cinema is here featuring not only reviews by myself but also featuring me as this month’s Sleepover Girl! A huge thank you to Rogue for this honor!
Carry and mine’s take on Shitfest Winter 2014 – George Biddle, CPA. Yes, it’s as bad as it sounds!
If you’re in the area or feel up for a road trip check out the River City Festival of Films comin’ atcha March 1st!
Verite Cinema announces details for year three of the premiere film festival The River City Festival of Films. The festival gives local filmmakers a viable venue to screen their work to the community and be recognized for their efforts. Donations from the festival will be given to New Beginnings Sexual Assault Services, a local charity organization. All festival events are free and open to the public; however donations are accepted for the charity.
Year three marks a mile stone as we have three special guests joining our event. Peter Weller (Robocop, Star Trek: Into Darkness, Sons of Anarchy) will be our special celebrity guest. Peter Weller is an accomplished film and television actor/director/producer with over 74+ film credits to his name. The signature event of the festival, Peter will screen the cult classic, The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across Dimension with the attendees. The festival will also host an autograph and photo session with the actor as well as a special seminar with Owensboro native Jason Koger, to discuss their experiences working together on the popular hit television series Hawaii 5-0.
The festival also welcomes Dave Shuffett, host of the popular KET series Kentucky Life and Kentucky Collectables, who will conduct a seminar on television production and discuss his new book ‘My Kentucky Life’. Dave joined Kentucky Life in 1999 and since then he has received nine Emmy nominations for on-camera performance and producing. Dave’s latest KET program, Kentucky Collectibles highlights the
Lastly WWE fans will have the opportunity to meet Sir Mo, most famous for the World Wrestling Entertainment World Tag Team Championship with Mabel as a part of “Men on a Mission” from 1993 to 1996. Sir Mo will be available to meet with fans for autographs and pictures.
The festival is not just an opportunity to view the unique visions and artistic efforts of the incredible talent within Owensboro and the region; it’s also a chance to pick the brains of the creative minds behind the films through one on one interactivity. In year three we’re stepping it up in every way. We have two screening rooms to view short, feature and international independent films. Experience our Events Floor with over 30+ vendors featuring artists from many facets of indie film; production companies, local/regional authors, painters, screen writers and the like. We will also be including a Q&A Room where audience members will have a chance to attend seminars featuring the local talent they were able to view on screen.
After the Buckaroo Bonzai screening with Weller, Jason Koger will host his Handing Back after party at the convention center for the public to attend. March 1st is the anniversary of Koger’s accident and the party is his way of giving back to a community who gave so much to him after the accident. Jason will have many special guests during the evening; to include live music entertainment, speed painting artist Aaron Kizer, Actor Peter Weller, Vanderbilt Burn Staff, and more. Details available soon at http://www.jasonkoger.com
Hmmm…what to say about Episode 50? Fair to middling, I guess best sums it up. There’s nothing new here, nothing shocking but as far as acting and story goes, this is a quick, easy pill to swallow.
We start out rather cutely with a TV crew of paranormal investigators investigating a couple’s house. My favorite part here is, when hunting around for the ghost, the husband is carrying a hammer (as if that’s going to do any good) and then accidentally beams his wife in the head. The next shot is her with a bandage and black eye. I know, I know, I shouldn’t laugh just the way they do it was hysterical (I’m also a little lacking in sleep though…).
The paranormal investigators aren’t your usual type – they’re there to explain away all these occurrences through natural means. One, mice are setting off the fancy equipment other paranormal investigators sold these people and two, hubby is a slob and has left open not only paint cans downstairs but also things like coolants which are creating fumes throughout the house which in turn makes the couple dizzy, nauseous, etc. And this is how we see an episode of the paranormal investigators t.v. show.
Next up is some dying guy who owns an abandoned asylum that’s supposed to be one of the most haunted places ever. He hires our paranormal team to spend the weekend at the asylum because (at least as far as I can tell) if they find something paranormal, then he’ll be a ghost. If they debunk everything there, then he’s going to spend eternity in Hell. Um, k…
Unfortunately, our paranormal team has to also work with a Christian paranormal team (which is new to me – I didn’t think the Christian religion was big on the paranormal but maybe that was just my church) who are there to PROVE that the place IS haunted.
Of course since we’ve got two paranormal teams in an insanely haunted asylum, things go pretty much straight to hell but it’s with very little blood or violence. There’s no chills or scares here, just your standard “made ya jumps” and ghostly ghastly quick moving women. And then it gets a little cheesy at the end.
It doesn’t suck but it’s nothing special either – silly fun if you’re in a crowd that scares easily.
Wild Girl Waltz is a hella fun movie about a day in the life of drugged up babes. Well, not THAT drugged up as they only have a pill of something each but ya know still. Up above you’ll find our gang – Angie, Brian and Tara. Tara and Brian are dating while Angie and Brian are brother and sister which sets up a really great group dynamic. And so our story begins with….
Poor Angie walking along the side of the road, only to have a truck drive by with a couple of guys in it who call her a whore and throw a milkshake all over her. Angie’s having kind of a bad day. She calls Tara to come pick her up and there is much mocking the entire time but eventually Tara tells Angie she has something that will make everything better. After getting Angie back home and showered and less of a sticky mess, Tara presents her with two overturned cups and tells her to pick one. Once Angie does, Tara reveals two pills that someone at work gave her and they each end up taking one even though neither knows what either pill is. Is this smart? Not really. But it makes for an entertaining watch. Meanwhile Brian, who was out yelling at some guy, comes home to find out he has to babysit two girls – one who appears to be on acid and the other who ends up being on ecstasy. He’s thrilled beyond belief, y’all. Thrilled, I say.
What follows is simply one of those days where it’s the best day with your friends you ever had. Admittedly, some of this is funnier if you’ve ever taken drugs or on the flip side had the misfortune of being the sober one babysitting friends, but it’s just their journey to find beer, get pies, play on playgrounds, talk to turtles and watch the color trails.
While the movie starts out a little slow, it quickly picks up pace and the rest of the time goes by smoothly. There’s some nice exterior shots (although a tad bit too many at the beginning). The acting is great – it can be hard to act like you’re on drugs and make it convincing without going overboard and both actresses here (Christina Shipp and Samantha Steinmetz) take it just to the limit but never overdo it. I think my only complaint is that I didn’t really see what Brian yelling at the guy in the woods at the beginning of the film really had to do with anything else. It seemed a scene just designed to get him out of the house while the girls took the pills but it easily could’ve been left out as it didn’t relate to anything else and was never resolved.
Overall, a fun comedy, one I’d recommend for a Saturday night in.
It’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these, so let’s see how it goes. Entering Misty’s stream of consciousness in 3, 2, 1….
- Freakannibal Pictures – so far I like this.
- Um….what? Please tell me the entire movie isn’t filmed on a home camera.
- “Take a look at yourself. You’re black, you’re equipped” dude grabs other dude’s crotch…
- Orgasmatron. My new favorite word.
- Did I mention this is a foreign film?
- Apparently this was made before Alien vs. Predator cause two dudes are having an argument about who would win.
- Wait, Harry Potter is in this??
- Is Predator really art?
- Seriously how old is this movie??
- This party sucks.
- That guy just said “I have ants in my pants” while wondering where all the women are. Wait, I watched that movie already. It was called “Antfarm Dickhole”…
- Great, now Netflix is having trouble loading this cinematic masterpiece. *sighs*
- This is taking forever. So…so far we’ve got a group of kids that are at a party being filmed with a really really lousy camera; a hot chick that’s really into comics and nerdy guys; a guy I’m pretty sure is my ex-boyfriend; Harry Potter; and a bunch of dudes making asses of themselves trying to get laid. I am VERY excited for the killer to come along!
- Still waiting on Netflix to load…so…um…it’s been snowy a lot…yeah…I got new tires on my car! But now I apparently need like $900 worth of more work done. So that sucks.
- Oh wait, movie is back!
- “A blond with culture? Now I’ve seen everything!” This movie is so charming…
- I think Yann is about to die!!
- Apparently this guy doesn’t get out much because he just got way too excited about a t.v. and peanuts.
- Oh thank goodness someone is dying. Maybe the rest of them will now too. They really are a disgusting bunch of kids, no lie. Some guy just came while this girl was making out with him and everyone’s mocking him now, lol. He needs new trousers.
- Now Cecile (because apparently that’s her name) is all over Harry Potter who’s fondling a stuffed animal boa constrictor.
- More death??
- Dude, the Ripper just ninja’d that girl’s head!
- Blood’s dripping from the ceiling and this witty guy asks the girl sitting next to him if she’s having her period.
- Yay! The Ripper just showed up to the party with the girl’s head and started killing!! And some guy is being a bad ass and karate chopping him. w00t!
- OW. Dude did the splits only to get his leg broken. And then he died. Is “poof” an insult? I think these kids are French.
- Oooohhh, the kids are stuck in a loop! They can only just go back to the living room they were partying in. Yet, they’re still trying to run…five minutes later…*sighs* These guys are not too bright. And every time they enter the living room, this one kid falls onto his knees, screaming “No!!!!!!!”. *giggles*
- Now, the guy who came while he was making out is beating to death Cecile while some other guy laughs hysterically in the background. Oh wait, she’s okay. Cum Guy is a douchebag and a half.
- Oh no! I think Comic Book Hottie is about to die!
- Now Comic Book Hottie is going around trying to kill people. I’m going to assume that the Ripper is a spirit and not a person. How much longer is this movie? Oh lord, an hour and eleven minutes. We’ve only covered 21 minutes.
- Wait, now the Ripper is with the other group (cause they split up) and now everyone has guns. And he just punched a guy’s head in. I’m so confused.
- Comic Book Hottie just ripped my ex-boyfriend looking dude’s heart out. And knifed/sworded ….
- Wait, where did the machine guns come from? I think everybody is almost dead so how on earth is this another hour and some odd minutes?
- What is up with all the guys in this movie punching girls?? What a bunch of a-holes
- Awww, good for that one girl, she just stabbed one of the dudes that punched her with a pair of scissors.
- Okay…so the Ripper is just a skeleton. And he told these two kids to look behind them and now there’s really bad CGI and they’re terrified!
- They’re also getting ripped apart by heavy metal concert rejects that I’m taking to be some sort of demons or something, I should probably add that.
- Looks like we’re down to one guy and he’s fighting the Ripper, both with guns again, and I think we still have an hour left of this thing. And um, the bullets are cartoon bullets.
- Aw, dude’s gun is out of bullets and the Ripper is bored. But dude went to look for another weapon so it’s all cool and shiz. Well, except the Ripper got tired of waiting and is kicking his ass.
- And…the Ripper just showed him the bad CGI and now dude is crying!
- Oh, snap. The Ripper just challenged him to a duel! A wrestling match. He said “I’ll be the Undertaker and you can be Hulk Hogan”. Ha!
- Okay, Dude has to take a rest and then train for 24 hours. Then they have the wrestling match. Oh, and they’re meeting in a public place tomorrow for this match apparently.
- I bet we get a training montage now!!
- Netflix just stopped again. This movie hates me!
- So…yeah…how’s everybody doing? Handling the cold okay and all? I, for one, cannot WAIT for spring!
- So the Ripper is actually the Grim Reaper. So I guess instead of playing chess, they’re doing it old school wrestling style.
- Instead of training, Dude is seeing what’s on t.v. NOT watching wrestling but watching some toys fighting. He’s super smart. y’all.
- Oh, HERE’s the nudity we were lacking the rest of the movie. Watching porn will definitely help him battle the Grim Reaper.
- Aw, Grimmie killed the porn lady while he says “You’ve got nothing better to do than watch rubbish, you have 21 hours left.”
- Now Dude has decided he’s going to commit suicide in the middle of the street. And then two of his dead friends come back with guns and start shooting random bystanders. I’m still confused…
- This was made in 2004. Is all this gun violence supposed to be some sort of political statement?
- Okay, dude succeeded in killing himself so I guess there’s no wrestling match?? Dammit, I was looking forward to that!
- He’s talking to all his dead friends now and his friends are saying that Grimmie gave them two options – either go to hell or work for him. So they decided to work for Grimmie or “the Big Boss” as they call him. And now that Dude is dead, Grimmie says no wrestling match but Dude has to kill someone he loved while he was alive.
- Oh, wait, Comic Book Hottie is apparently still alive so Dude has to kill her! Otherwise all his friend’s contracts will be up and everybody goes to hell.
- THERE’S STILL 46 MINUTES LEFT IN THIS MOVIE. I DON’T KNOW IF I CAN TAKE IT.
- A third friend has shown up saying he’s actually an angel and infiltrated their group. But now he thinks there are better benefits working for Death.
- Comic Book Hottie is really confused and pissed off upon seeing Dude. Thinking Dude is going to up and kill her like he’s supposed to. Wait, no, he’s walking away.
- Sorry guys, the movie has gotten way less fun and way more boring now.
- They all just got randomly shot by someone in an elevator…
- Dude went back to see Comic Book Hottie but he’s now saving her from his dead friends. And there’s a lot of guns again.
- Random goth girl.
- Lots of fighting.
- Oh, goth girl is an Angel of Death. She told dead friend #1 to bring her Dude because he failed in killing Comic Book Hottie and his soul now belongs to goth girl.
- Comic Book Hottie wouldn’t stop shouting that Dude was a coward and had no balls so he finally shot her.
- Another shoot out between two dead guys.
- Now the angels are fighting…
- Goth girl/Angel of Death told Dude that his soul belongs to her and she’ll come back and take it whenever she wants. I really wish she’d come do that now. But instead he goes to some Halloween party at some bar.
- And there’s still 22 minutes left. I think I’m going to skip watching the band “sing” and go make a sandwich.
- Oh joy. The goth girl/Angel of Death is back and now there’s another shoot out in the bar. This movie isn’t predictable at all. Nope. I wonder what will happen next? Oh. Another fight. Of course. *sighs*
- Goth girl/Angel of Death just lost her head. Man, that sucks.
- Yay! Grimmie showed back up! They’re finally going to have their duel!
- They’re dueling with daggers or some shiz. Worst duel EVER.
- Uh-oh. Grimmie is in trouble for killing people whenever he wants! Now he’s dueling a whole committee of men in masks with his apparently brand new super powers. He thinks he’s a Jedi, ha!
- Now Grimmie is being punished and wants Dude to become Death. And Dude is all, “What a load of rubbish.”
- And then Dude’s face exploded all over the place and he became Death.
THE FREAKING END.
So to sum up, I’m sure there was some sort of meta or existentialist message here somewhere but I totally missed it, although I do have to admit that for being incredibly lo-budget, the cinematography wasn’t that bad (especially considering it was 2004) but still watch this one at your own risk.
Whoo boy, you guys were right about All The Boys Love Mandy Lane! I LOVED this movie! So fun and such a trip. I think I’m probably the last one out of everybody to see this one but maybe someone out there still hasn’t seen it and if not, then you definitely need to, got it?
It’s a pretty simple concept. Mandy Lane gets particularly hot over a summer in high school and all the boys are falling all over her. Mandy however is quiet and shy and bff’s with a guy who’s a bit of an outsider and gets to be even more of an outsider when he pulls a prank at a pool party that leaves a boy dead. (He has the boy jump off a roof, even though the guy is wayyyy too drunk, to impress Mandy Lane). Fast forward a bit in time and Mandy is still quiet and shy but no longer friends with Outcast Boy. She’s now friends with the popular crowd. She and a couple of other girls are invited to a weekend at Stoner Dude’s ranch and Mandy talks her aunt into letting her go. Once they get there it’s all drugs, sex, and rock’n'roll until people start dying one by one. But who’s killing them off? And why?
For a slasher film, this one is aces. Amber Heard is gorgeous and perfect as Mandy Lane and every one plays their part here well. The cinematography is aces too. Really, I have no complaints. This is like a perfect slasher flick. It’s fun, it’s enjoyable, it’s a heck of a thrill ride. I didn’t see the ending coming till the very last second and was surprised when it came. It’s rare these days that a movie can do that. So check it out. I promise you won’t regret it!
Omg, why was Sexy Evil Genius so boring???? This had a really good cast – Michelle Trachtenberg, Seth Green, Anthony Michael Hall, William Baldwin, Harold Perrineau. I mean, that’s a pretty darn good cast, right? I love Michelle ever since “Buffy” and c’mon, who doesn’t enjoy Seth Green?? (Okay, to be fair, some people may not). But he’s playing the straight man here and it’s awesome to watch. In fact, everyone does a great job in this movie. Even William Baldwin doesn’t suck. But my gods, was it a boring movie.
So the gist is that Nikki (Katee Sackhoff, who I am NOT familiar with) gathers three of her ex-lovers (Seth, Michelle and Harold) to meet with her and her new fiance (William). But she can’t just have a big group meeting and be straight about it. We find out over the course of the film that Nikki is either a really free spirit or one straight up psychotic bitch (my vote goes to psychotic bitch btw) so the whole evening is one big mind fuck. And the whole movie just spins in circles where you keep thinking one thing will happen but then it never does. And the whole movie is set in a bar and the action rarely leaves the one table the characters are at. Normally, I LOVE talky movies like this but this one I just could not get into.
So really that sums it up – great cast, terrible plot, great acting, very talky with no action which is normally a plus – I should’ve loved this thing…*sighs*
Oh SyFy, are there even words to describe how much I adore your offerings? I’m not sure I can find just the right words to even begin to proclaim my love of your silly so silly and oh so fun movies. The latest being Blast Vegas, of course. *sighs* Such movie perfection. Such movie actors – Frankie Muniz (so THIS is where he went off to!) and Barry Bostwick (man, do I ever love you, Barry!!). Just *sighs*.
Seriously, though this movie is ALL sorts of cray cray fun! This group of college kids goes to Las Vegas on spring break, dragging along one Frankie Muniz and one Andrew Lawrence (and oh, did he ever get that cutie gene like his bros did!). Frankie’s all “I don’t want to be here” and “Who puts ketchup on a hot dog??” (is that a weird thing? I don’t eat hot dogs but I thought people DID put ketchup on them?). Meanwhile, they meet a group of girls including one Olive who was also dragged along and would rather be studying ancient history than partying. She and Frankie meet and it’s almost love at first sight. *le sigh*
And then you have Barry Bostwick as the gin loving, piano playing Vegas singer whose been around the block more than a few times.
But really our story starts with Phil, the SendEx guy who gets robbed and pistol whipped at the very beginning of the movie by two guys who want a precious piece of cargo he’s carting to one casino – an ancient sword. The robbing doesn’t go very well as once the pair of baddies start driving away, a dust storm tears them to pieces then dumps the sword right back by pistol whipped Phil, who apparently goes ahead and delivers it because next time we see it, it’s in said casino. Damn, those SendEx guys are good! Robbed, pistol whipped and you STILL manage to get your delivery in on time??
Next, comes our spring breakers and boys being boys, Andrew Lawrence and the gang, minus Frankie steal the sword and go stick it in the dirt out back. Now, did I mention this sword has an Egyptian curse attached to it?? But then, don’t they all? Anywho, sword in dirt, sword not come out of dirt, boys go back to partying. Boys not too bright.
What follows is an epic dust storm – actually a snakedustnado (a dust tornado made up of dust snakes) that wreaks havoc on Las Vegas while people die left and right and our spring breakers plus Barry look on in despair…will our gang survive? Will they be able to break the curse? Is it really and truly up to Frankie Muniz from “Malcolm in the Middle” to save the day???
Well, boys and girls, I guess you’ll just have to watch and see for yourself the epicness that is “Blast Vegas”!